The Ind e-Pen
And as of this week we are exactly three-quarters of the way through with the year. Yey, everybody!
I couldn’t have done it without you! That’s right. I couldn’t have grown older without you… you
youth-stealing sociopaths. Grr. I’m going to go eat some cereal and listen to NPR for a while now.
Draft, draft, draft
So it turns out there might soon be a draft. Soon is subjective, of course. Because there won’t,
coincidentally, be a vote on it until after election day. You’ve gotta love congress.
The bill is called HR 163 in the House and S 89 IS in the senate, but don’t bother looking it up as
that. Though every other bill can be found by its number, for some reason you have to enter the entire
title of the bill in the Senate’s search engine to find it (www.senate.gov): the Universal National
I have a copy of the bill, but instead of summing it up, I’ll let Congressman Pete Stark (D-CA) do it
for me: “This bill requires all young Americans – men and women between 18 and 26 – to perform a two
year period of national service in a military or civilian capacity as determined by the President. For
those who conscientiously object to war, the bill assures that any military service would not include
combat. Otherwise, there would be no preferences, no deferments, no chance for the well-off or the well-
connected to dodge military service for their country, as did our President.”
Strong words there for a guy who supports an act that will force all college-age Americans to do all
of the work. Notice how the age limit for being a senator is 30 and for being a representative is 25?
Anyway, I’ve been unable to find any soon to be elected officials that have any position (either way)
on the draft. It seems as if everyone is staying away from it on purpose. Hmm… now why would anyone
15 Topics I cannot cover because of impending reader mutiny:
The cereal wars I have with my mother while shopping
My poetry (“rub-a-dub dub…”)
common household objects
My unhealthy sexual attraction to common household objects (esp. when it’s not my house)
My secret wish that Nelly would do a song with Nelly Furtado.
Ethical Dilemmas and Paradoxes in extremely relatable situations
How I’m hoping I can get addicted to the game of Risk again.
That NMSU’s college paper, the Round Up (www.roundupnews.com) has consistently gone over its budget the
past three years. This year by $48,307.20
How readers are the laziest mutiniers of all time
How Butt has always and will always be wrong about everything in life
How good it feels to be a gangsta
How I hate writing Top 15 lists
A Small Quiz:
Congratulations to Butt. I thought I was almost through with sending you free issues, but then you
answered again. Screw you, Butt. Screw you in the orifice of your choice, Butt.
1: Are you FOR or AGAINST being drafted? (This only applies if you or someone you know is going to be
between 18 and 26 and planning on living in the United States until the end of ‘terror’)
2: If you were a gangsta, how would it feel?
3: Are you feeling mutinous?