Month: June 2005

I don’t know if I ever really believed in the Tooth Fairy. I know I would get cold hard cash (about $1.12… adjusting for inflation) for every tooth I lost. And I’m pretty sure I didn’t think it was really my parents at first (how would they sneak the money in without waking me up?),…

400 Bills. Wow, I feel like there should be a punchline to that. Or maybe the first half of a joke. Something, anyway. This was a thought experiment proposed by Drew. I was going to comment, but poot. I figured he’d appreciate it more if, instead of that, I just stole his idea. As to…

Going to the Vans Warped Tour: +5 scene points Buying ticket ahead of time: -1 scene point Getting there on time to late: +1 scene point Running like a pansy to the arena: -2 scene points Running into friends at the arena: +3 scene points Getting sunburnt pretty bad: -5 scene points Seeing Matchbook Romance:…

This nation has an unnatural underdog fixation. Everywhere and everyone is being ‘persecuted’ for something. I think it borders on paranoia, quite frankly. I mean, surely Some group is at the top? Religion, scientists, republicans, democrats, environmentalists, short-sighted ignorami, business, government, the rich, the poor, black people, white people, Hispanics, middle easterners, Asians (well, not…

To show just how terrible Reagan was, I’m going to make a list of the top 10 presidents. In order. Here we go: Franklin Delano Roosevelt (Dem.) George Washington (Ind.) Abraham Lincoln (Rep.) Lyndon Baines Johnson (Dem.) James Madison (Dem-Rep.) James Monroe (Dem-Rep.) Teddy Roosevelt, Jr. (Rep.) Thomas Jefferson (Dem-Rep.) Warren G. Harding (Rep.) Andrew…

My number one choice for the Greatest Americans ever, patterned on the Discovery Channel list. Their top pick was Ronald Reagan (seriously!). Ha ha. Americans are kooky-ass bastards.My top three list would include Jefferson and Washington (props to those who started it all. FDR and Lincoln wouldn’t have been important if not for the framers).…