Night, Dawn, and Day in the Land of the Dead

All zombie movies have been done. Give it up. There’s nothing new. The same (though to a lesser extent) goes for vampires. Mummies have always been stupid and the more you defecate on Shelley’s Frankenstein, the less power he has. Serial killers, whether human or not, whether decent or just plain messed up, are overused. Aliens… need a new angle or more time to be effective. And whatever happened to werewolves?I just finished seeing Shaun of the Dead and I began wondering where I would go if zombies attacked.

My solution was simple: take a fire truck and head north (it’s a friggin’ piss poor idea to stay in any populated area, as movie after movie has shown. And if you’ve never driven a firetruck, then you don’t know why I’d take one. Trust me, if you had to outrun/outkill a mob, a firetruck is the way to go).
The problem came when I tried to decide who I’d take with me. I’d have to get my mother, obviously, and my friend who’s the captain of the fire department (to drive it). But what about my cousins? I have four (under 15) within the area. And they all have parents (a total of three :).

So now that’s me (1) and my mom (2), my cousins (6), my aunts and uncles (10), and my friend (11) in a firetruck.

But my friend would more than likely want to take his family too, and even if we limited it to the immediate family, it’d still be three extra people (14 so far). And his friggin’ girlfriend, who lives on the way and he’d be obligated to take (15).

But she also has two cousins and an aunt nearby that she wouldn’t leave without (18). And then there’s our other mutual friends (20), who we’d take too. And they have families too (25). And one of them has a girlfriend with parents (28).

But that’s okay, because there are four firetrucks, which can each carry 7 or so people. So it’s perfect, right?

Wrong. What about the other members of the fire department? They’d think the same thing, so we’d have to fight them for it.

Fun.

And we don’t even know yet where we’re going (likely Cloudcroft or someplace cold, though).

So if Zombies attack, how, you ask, where would I go and how would I survive?

I answer: I wouldn’t. 🙁

– Πιξ

All zombie movies have been done. Give it up. There’s nothing new. The same (though to a lesser extent) goes for vampires. Mummies have always been stupid and the more you defecate on Shelley’s Frankenstein, the less power he has. Serial killers, whether human or not, whether decent or just plain messed up, are overused.…