“You can trust me.” — if you actually could trust them, you wouldn’t need to say that, now would you?
“Can I kiss you?” — girls understand this a lot more than guys. Would that you could say it, but alas, once you do so, you ruin the moment. Still, it’d be easier to do it if you were certain you had permission. *suspiro*
“Am I happy?” — a quote from 13 Conversations About One Thing which was in turn a John Stuart Mill quote, “Ask yourself if you’re happy and you’ll cease to be so.”
“We need to talk.” — The worst four words in the English language. If everyone ceased using them together, it’d be a better place. A fact of nature: the more someone wants to talk to you, the less you want to talk to them.
“Do you miss me?” — Grr… Just once I want the answer to be “Hell no.” Or “Who is this?”
“If you need someone to talk to, I’m here for you.” — No, just be there and shut up. To date I’ve yet to see anybody take anyone up on this.
“Wokka wokka wokka.” — I don’t know what it means, but my flatmate always says it when she’s talking to her mother in Russian. I find it hard to take any language seriously when they repeat a silly sounding word like that three times. I mean, you never hear English speakers say ointment ointment ointment. Though perhaps we should..
Updated, thanks to Moofruot:
“I could care less.” — because if you could care less, then what’s the point of saying it?
“Remind me to do ‘xxxx'” — because I have a worse memory than you, guranteed, especially when I don’t give a damn about what you need to remember because it’s not mine to remember. Besides, in the process of saying “Remind me to xxxx”, you create a mental cue to remember yourself.
Post more if you can think of them.