Know Comment

I’ve noticed that some posts don’t even trickle in the blogospherical psyche while some seem to gather comments like they’re going out of style (which they are. Comments are so last season).

For a long time I assumed it was the quality of the post that made people comment. Sort of a “righto chap!” to the general bloggitude.

But then I read this and didn’t comment. I end up doing that a lot in Moof‘s and breakerslion‘s posts. I’m not sure why. It’s not that they’re bad posts, often they write some of the best stuff I read every day.

I guess I just feel like any comment I do will lessen the post.

Like whenever somebody tells you a really sad story and it’s engaging and captivating and enthralling and you find yourself listening and wondering what’s going to happen. Then they finish and ask you for a reaction: sometimes you have something fantastic to say because they piqued your imagination or curiousity, but other times you find yourself at a loss.

Thus, I find that there are nine main reasons why most people comment:

  1. To show the writer/readers that they were there and read the post or a prior comment.
  2. To attack or defend a point made in the post or a prior comment.
  3. To crack a joke.
  4. To comment on something completely unrelated (usually these are people asking for something or people you know in real life commenting on real events).
  5. To show emotional or intellectual appreciation for the post or a prior comment.
  6. To express emotional or intellectual dislike for the post or a prior comment. (This can be as simple as a ‘‘ or as rude as swearing.)
  7. To get people to visit your blog or website (SPAM, SPAM, SPAM. Even if it’s a legitimate person doing it, it’s SPAM).
  8. To question the post or a portion of the post (or a prior comment).
  9. Because the writer asks them to.

To wit:

  1. I’m here.
  2. You’re wrong/right.
  3. Your mom.
  4. What about Bob?
  5. Bravo, good sir, bravo.
  6. Ehh…/Ehh!!!
  7. Penis, penis, penis!!!
  8. Huh?
  9. Comment. There. Happy now?

About Pixel

Pixel Q. Styx refuses to talk about himself. If thou wishest, thou may infer from his blog what thou wishest.
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6 Responses to Know Comment

  1. T-Rob says:

    Don’t walk into that wall of penis.

  2. T-Rob says:

    Don’t walk into that wall of penis.
    -Rob

  3. T-Rob says:

    What about bob?

    -Rob

  4. T-Rob says:

    I’m done…

    -Rob

  5. Anonymous says:

    Its exactly this kind of post that’s so infuriating to serial commentators. Your meta-analysis of the art of blog-commentary tries to delimit, contain, and capture the infinite variability of this most ancient artform. Within me rises a furious spectre of rebellion, to push against such bonds of possibility and potential. It does gladden me to see you have at least achieved some progress in separating blogger authorial quality from the commentator quantity. But alas, you have so far yet to travel. For the wispy heights of the enlightened I must insist still elude thee. For you must realise that without relation, without commentary, the blog is but a whisper in the wind falling on stone. Do not care for the sanctity of the pure, unadulterated, uncommented post! I say the comment cannot lessen! I say glory to commentary, for in it is born a relationship! And with that can the post only be greaten and broaden! For but with the next comment, the post can be created anew; refashioned, reforged, and known again for the first time.

    And I say nay! Do not hark upon the intentions of the commentators, but examine your inner self. Now is the perfect time to expound upon the intentions of blogger response commentary. For I have no doubt such responses can be categorised in similar line, point-for-point, as your analysis of the general commentator. Except that the blogger’s responding comments have a different authority, a ‘this is my world’ feel; a ‘i just push this button & you all just disappear’ feeling of comradery. Not that I don’t like bloggers, they do after all give me pace for my diatribal space.

    -oli

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