2006

I’ve done New Year’s Resolutions every year now since I was 16.
And I usually go through with them. The secret is in my method. My resolutions aren’t like other people’s (lose weight, be happy, smite non-believers). My resolutions are definite.
And my resolutions are 18.

That is to say that I make 18 resolutions. Each resolution has 20 days to be fulfilled, which means that the resolutions must have legitimate goals that can be measured. Some resolutions take longer than others, but so long as I have fulfilled a resolution an average of every 20 days, I’m good.

To wit: 18 x 20 = 360, which is as close as I could get to 365 without being dumb (5 resolutions every 73 days!).

And they are…

  1. Move to Las Cruces, New Mexico
  2. Switch to Word Press
  3. Get a publishing program for Mac (QuarkXPress, Indesign, but sadly not Publisher)
  4. Find a hairstyle I like
  5. Walk across a mountain and toilet paper two cars
  6. Register with the Small Business Administration
  7. Set up a legitimate Pix Capacitor website
  8. Set up a legitimate Pix Capacitor viewspaper
  9. Visit some [label missing]s
  10. Have some [label missing]s visit me
  11. See some of the family I never get to see anymore
  12. Get Skype and talk to some old [label missing]s
  13. Make some new [label missing]s and be a [good friend] to those I already have
  14. Save $1,000 for Australia
  15. Memorize another two or three poems and brush up on the ones I already know
  16. Revolutionize The Round Up
  17. Kill (and possibly eat) Gabe the Beaver… or at least seriously maim (and possibly chew) him.
  18. Be happy… that I killed Gabe the Beaver… or at least seriously maimed him.

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I’ve done New Year’s Resolutions every year now since I was 16. And I usually go through with them. The secret is in my method. My resolutions aren’t like other people’s (lose weight, be happy, smite non-believers). My resolutions are definite. And my resolutions are 18. That is to say that I make 18 resolutions.…

2 Comments

  1. Let me know how that goes. Most of the people I talk to are biased towards Quark, but I only know two people who’ve actually used Indesign and they say it’s actually quite good.