A Pixelated Mind

(boy, I wonder how that turns out)

Is it possible for a blog to have too many features?

I argue it’s not. Old-timey visitors (from the 1920s or even from just yesterday) will note a few spectacular changes on the site. First of all, you can now rate comments. I tested it out on T-Rob’s comment because he used the phrase “God damnit” which is automatically moderated for obscenity (here’s a fun game: guess which word it considers obscene. Try your answer out in comment form!).

Speaking of comments, there are clickable smilies now! I know that was something that was sorely lacking here before. It was definitely my number 1 complaint. On an unrelated note, you can preview your comment before you post now. I eliminated the ‘live preview’ because it seriously affected the speed you could type, but this way gives you a better idea of what’s going to come out the other end.

I could always tell what country, browser and computer you use, but now it’s published for the whole world to know! Ha ha. Hopefully this will cause some embarrassment to the 1337 programmers who claim they’re on a Linux using Camino, but are actually on Vista using IE.

Then there’s the recent comments on the sidebar and the stats page which tabulates all of the goings on of my blog. To prove how important this is, Seth just overtook Moof in total comments 69 to 66.. It was a battle to the death for a while there.

Then there’s the whole slew of developments from GaMerZ (not his real name) including counting how many times people have viewed a post, who’s online now, post ratings and a nifty page navigation option at the bottom at the page (it used to be impossible to go to page 2 of posts, for instance).

If you’ve never taken a look at my contact page, there’s a new option to send me a text message in case you feel it’s particularly appropriate to charge me 5 cents for your inane thoughts.

Also, there’s the “Two years ago, I posted something silly” after every post. I’m not sure if it’s distracting, but it definitely calls attention to some quality posts. Although my articles page does that a bit better.

Last and greatest is Ozh’s random words. Now, whenever you comment, it’s just as likely to say “You bitched” as “You insightfully articulated.” Actually, that’s a lie, “you bitched” is 20 times more likely.

So is it possible to have too many features? I’ll tell you as soon as this page finishes loading…

I need to rethink my naming of these daily posts. Frankly, I’m not seriously discussing June, the 27th OR 2007.

But can you imagine if I did? Wouldn’t it be awesome?

*scene: the Internet, you are reading another well-crafted blog post about something you couldn’t care less about when all of a sudden, you break the fourth wall… let’s watch!*

Pixel: … and no other month begins on the same day of the week as June within the same calendar year. As most people know, June was named after the lesser known younger brother of Julius and Augustus Caesar: Junius Naturalbirth.

You: What the hell? No it’s not, it’s named after Juno, the wife and sister of Jupiter in Roman Mythology!

Pixel: Huh? Oh, that’s a competing theory, but I think history will eventually prove me right on this one. I mean, Hera wasn’t–

You: –Juno–

Pixel: — Juno wasn’t even an important god! I mean, why would they name March after Mars, June after Juno and then no other month after any deities of note? Where the hell is my Venusrary and my Jupiterember?

You: That’s besides the point, there was no such person as “Junius Naturalbirth!”

Pixel: I’d like to see you prove that negative!

You: Julius and Augustus weren’t even related! Augustus took that name as an honorific!

Pixel: That’s a competing theory, but if he really took it as an honorific, why didn’t he call himself Dr. Awesomo McFantastico like I’m going to do now?

You: ???

Dr. Awesomo McFantastico: Point, set and match. Moving on… June 27 is the 178th day of the year, which means I only have 187 days left to hug 48 people. It is National HIV Testing Day in United States and Veterans’ Day in the United Kingdom. June 27th is widely accepted to have never been the birthday of anyone of note. By the way, happy birthday.

You: Today’s not my birthday.

Dr. Awesomo McFantastico: Really? Are you sure? It’s not coming up soon, is it?

You: Not for another 364 days.

Dr. Awesomo McFantastico: *Phew!* I thought I’d missed it. Moving on…

*scene fades to black*

…

Dr. Awesomo McFantastico: What the hell? Why did everything go black?

p.s. Today will be the last time the title for a daily slice will be the actual day. From now on, I’ll start titling them after events of note that happened on that particular day.

Do you think Judas got ripped off when he sold Jesus out for 30 pieces of silver?
How much would you have asked for?
Would you have done it?
Would you have kissed Jesus?
On the lips?
With tongue?
I think I might have.

My 13-year-old cousin is on Myspace. Not My Space in particular, but the Web site Myspace. Obviously her profile is terrible. I mean, she’s 13! I didn’t know any CSS when I was 13. I barely know any now.

However, the reason I bring it up is two-fold:

1. Her parents are freaking out about it
2. She’s on it several hours a day and only has 3 friends.

I constantly am amazed by how unlearned kids are. I mean, the other day my cousins asked me where I thought the universe came from if there was no God. I said, “well, where did God come from then?” To which they had no answer. Not only did they have no answer, but the question had never occurred to them.Actually, that’s probably a bad example.

A better example is thus: my friends and I were talking about how illogical superstition was and how we’d all believed in it at some point. My cousin jumped into the conversation and said, “well, I don’t know, maybe some of it is true.”

Okay, never mind, I have a much better example. I tried to explain to my 13-year-old female cousin why Myspace is okay as long as you’re careful about it and don’t talk to strangers when she said, “oh, no, I never do that. I mean, if one of them messaged me or added me and I thought their profile was interesting, I would, but only if they were my age.” To which I responded that it’s the Internet: you never know someone’s age. Even if they claim to be from the next school over, there’s no way to check without seriously putting yourself at risk. “Oh, I’d never thought of that. Gosh, you’re scaring me!”

She only said that last part because I was wearing a wolf mask, but the point remains. I stand by what I think that Myspace is okay for SOME 13 year olds. But in this case, I’m going to have to side with the over-concerned parents. Their kids are just too stupid to leave alone.

(My new category ‘daily slice‘ means daily slice of life and has its origins in this post.)

Them:

From: +19152222904
To: Me
06/24/07 13:37
How was the party yesterday?

Me:

From: +19158678669
To: +19152222904
06/24/07 13:40
TERRIBLE!! two guys raped and beat me… i think i’m going to kill myself can you come over? …