I found his last will, but where’s his testament?
- by Pixel
(I spent most of last night and this morning in a hospital waiting room. My friend Frank had to get his appendix removed and they couldn’t do it until 8 a.m. the next morning. In the mean time, I took down his last requests just in case something went hideously wrong on the operating table. Come to think of it, I hope he’s okay, I don’t like what he left me…)
I, Frank Jagear, being of sound mind and judgment– sound being that my premises are true and of valid form– hereby bequeath my estate to the following in the following proportions:
- If somebody could reach the top of Mt. Everest, they are entitled to 90 percent of my assets.
- To Pixel: I leave my girlfriend.
- To my girlfriend: I leave eternal care of Pixel… and also my truck.
- To my brothers: I leave the shared responsibility of paying for my funeral.
- To the state of Idaho: I leave my entire shoe collection.
(note: he is now being injected with 2 mg of morphine)
- To the state of Lousiana: I leave my baseball card collection.
……….. I, Frank Jagear, in a half-state of mind
- Leave my philosophy theory to Pixel
- Leave my motorcycle to Glen Berry on the condition he learns how to walk again.
- Oh, and the truck I gave my girlfriend must be given to her father.
- I leave my entire G.I. Joe collection– except for Cobra Commando– to the Battered Women’s Shelter in the hopes that it will make them happy.
- I want all of my fingers and toes cut off and embalmed to make key chains for all of my friends.
- I want one of my kidneys put on eBay.
- Science has my full consent to clone me.
- To David Chacon: I want my ninja clan to sodomize his wife.
- To Chaparral Elementary School: I bequeath my sword collection.
- Anything left over I leave to my mother.
- As for my remains, I want to be cryogenically frozen.
- Oh, and I give my grandparents my college debt and my cat Lyle.
XOXO,
Frank Jagear
Preparer’s initials: PQS
3:28 Oct. 2, 2007
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(I spent most of last night and this morning in a hospital waiting room. My friend Frank had to get his appendix removed and they couldn’t do it until 8 a.m. the next morning. In the mean time, I took down his last requests just in case something went hideously wrong on the operating table.…
that sounds crazy, who would honestly give their shoe to a state
I would like Jagear’s other kidney or at least all his past astronomy tests so I could continue to perturb professor Holtz.