Why being attacked by zombies might suck

There’s probably some drawbacks to the world being overtaken by zombies I’m not seeing.

– Me, after seeing Resident: Evil; Extinction/
  • Constant body odor
  • Odds are most of the beautiful women would keep their promises and die before they slept with you.
  • Hot, running water might not last very long.
  • Ditto electricity and heat.
  • No new movies.
  • You won’t get to see or read the end of any series you’ve been following. The suspense might just kill you.
  • Your 401(k) will be inaccessible.
  • Most of your friends and family have probably died in terrible, terrible ways
  • Living in constant fear for your life
  • Bad medical plan means you’re probably going to die from the flu, an infection, a broken arm, or appendicitis within a few years even IF you survive the zombies.
  • Going camping will never be safe again.
  • GPS will get less accurate over time.
  • No new perishable foods.
  • No more fancy restaurants.
  • No more drive-thru.
  • International travel will be difficult, if not impossible, so you might have to let go of your dream of getting photos of you mooning at all seven wonders of the world.
  • The stock market will plummet.
  • Text messaging and Twittering will lose its cool.
  • No rewards for pictures of Bigfoot, Yeti, Nessie or aliens.
  • Countless animals in kennels and prisoners will starve to death.
  • Extra fear of getting bitten by zombies with AIDS.
  • You won’t be able to wipe the smug smiles off the damned Christians…
  • Your second and third languages will be useless… much as they are now.
  • Nobody to talk about politics with.
  • Effective reversion to the hunter/gatherer society.
  • Severe bottleneck means genetic drift will produce a different subspecies of humans after only a few thousand years.
  • Global warming might proceed abetted and our kids will be left to deal with our mess.
  • No daily crossword puzzle
  • That stupid jerk that saw too many zombie movies will be chock-full of insightful advice that might get you killed.
  • You might have to machete your zombie best friend in the face.

Note: This post has nothing to do with Chalmer’s Zombies or Heinlein’s short story “All you zombies–” But it should.

About Pixel

Pixel Q. Styx refuses to talk about himself. If thou wishest, thou may infer from his blog what thou wishest.

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One Response to Why being attacked by zombies might suck

  1. I suppose you won’t bother with a corresponding Pros list, though for completeness’ sake – you really should.

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