A Pixelated Mind

It surprises me how nobody in the blogosphere or the media has noticed this very interesting foible about the shape the presidential field has taken. I’m writing this before Rudy Giuliani gets third place in Florida, but I don’t really see a need to wait.

As soon as Giuliani drops out of the race, there will be only four candidates left vying for the Republican presidential nomination: Mitt Romney, John McCain, Mike Huckabee, and Ron Paul.

Each of these candidates speaks to a different wing of the Republican party. Mitt Romney, a businessman, has taken firm command of the issues of the economy, effectively representing the part of the party that seeks low taxes and a free market. John McCain, a war hero, has taken the issue of national security as his own, along with the section of the party that thinks global terrorism is the most important issue. Mike Huckabee, a Baptist minister, has appealed to the religious right and evangelical base, but precious few others. Ron Paul, meanwhile, has breathed life into the previously moribund libertarian wing of the party.

Each candidate appeals to a distinct section of the party that had previously been united. In essence, the party has been split in four.

Whoever wins the nomination will only win because he managed to get the most delegates, not because he unified the party. And without a unified party, the Republicans have no chance of taking the presidency this November. This is just conventional wisdom, what isn’t (yet) is what a fitting metaphor it is that these four candidates are the four candidates that are left. Essentially, this race has turned into a metaphor of itself. How perfectly amusing.

I hope someone else picks up on this.

Dear Anonymous,

Wow, I haven’t had an anonymous comment in a while. I’d actually grown to miss them! And I’m not even being facetious. I like anonymous comments. I even argued for them here.

Anyway, here’s the comment. I’ve split it up to respond to each part.

Forgive my sounding like a jerk, please, but you can’t be serious.
If you claim to know the answers to all of these questions, you are incredibly arrogant and deluded.

You don’t sound like a jerk and I’m not really serious. The post was mostly tongue-in-cheek. I was trying to come up with a list of 100 things and ended up locking myself into that style. I realized my list should have included much more history, but then I realized how little valuable history I knew.

More than anything, the post was an attempt to show that— no matter who we are— our education could always be improved. I was trying to list human realizations, accomplishments, and discoveries that people should be aware of as part of our cumulative heritage. Does that seem fair enough?

“What is a black hole?” Really? You know? Publish!

A black hole is an area of condensed mass so great that even light cannot escape. Extra credit would go to anyone who used the terms ‘Hawking radiation,’ ‘quantum mechanics,’ ‘general relativity,’ ‘quantum gravity,’ ‘event horizon,’ or ‘spaghettification.’ Double-extra credit for the last one. My post didn’t ask for precise knowledge, only working knowledge, which I have just provided.

“What do Muslims/Christians/Hindus/etc believe?” You think that they all believe the same thing?

They should if they’re being logically consistent with their beliefs. But even though most people cherry-pick their faith, there are core tenets of certain faiths that all members have in common. For instance, I cannot call myself a Muslim while simultaneously believing Mohammed was a wanker who conned everyone. I can have Muslim-like beliefs, but Islam-proper is removed from my grasp. I have no problem with people believing different things than other members of their faith, I just want people to have a general outline of what these faiths imply because I think it’s important to know your world.

“What is gravity?” What is a force? Please tell us.

Gravity is the force mass exerts on other mass in the form of pull. The net result is always that the smaller object gets pulled into the larger object. Force is mass times acceleration unless you’re being ‘deep,’ in which case I have no idea what you’re aiming at.

“Explain quantum theory” Wow. This just shows your ignorace. (sic)

If you didn’t get the joke, how could you single out the punchline? I know nobody can explain quantum theory just like I know nobody (myself included) has full knowledge of all the things on that list. That’s why it’s on there: to call attention to itself and the absurdity of the list. Sorry if that went over your head, perhaps I should have been less subtle.

I’m sure you get the idea. Give me a break.
And you clearly need to do some reading on metaphysics–you don’t know what “is” means. Get rid of this list and start back there–look up “ontology”.

That’s rich. You realize I’m a philosopher, right? “Is” is a form of “to be.” Aristotle specified two forms of “is” into qualitative identity and numerical identity. To say that something is something else is to imply that it has properties similar to the other thing (qualitative) or that it is necessary and sufficient to form that thing (numerical). I think you imagine me to be using the second form, when in reality I’m using a more colloquial speech to better suite my readers. I could use a more precise formal language, but that seems counter-productive.

Ontology is the study of being. I always remember by thinking of the exact opposite as “Offtology,” ha ha. I’m not sure why you mentioned ontology at all. It’s tangential at best, irrelevant at worst. If you’ll tell me, I’d gladly respond.

I imagine you’re an undergrad at York University interested in philosophy of science and checking your favourites tab from your work in an office or something. I don’t think you really want to get into a flame war. You probably just took the previous post too literal and too arrogant, then mistook my personality from that post and commented in an attempt to show me the ‘light.’

How far off am I?

—Pixelation Qyw Styx

My friend Kyle asked me yesterday whether the Romans had conquered the Greeks or vice-versa. He also asked who’d conquered the winner. In response, I’d like to create a list of questions whose answer everyone should know. Please don’t be embarrassed if you don’t know the answer to one or two of them, it’s society’s fault… and you make up the society.

Chemistry
1. Why is the sky blue?
2. What is an element?
3. What is atomic theory?
4. What is the difference between a proton, an electron, and a neutron?
5. What is diffusion and osmosis?
6. What is a molecule?
7. What is an isotope?
8. What is the law of conservation of energy/mass?
9. What is the difference between an ionic and covalent bond?
10. What is the periodic table and why is it so ingenious?
11. What are the four states of matter?
12. What’s the difference between chemistry and alchemy and why is alchemy not a science?

Astronomy

13. Which is bigger, the sun or the moon?
14. Does the Earth go around the sun or vice-versa?
15. What’s the closest star?
16. What is a light year and what does it measure?
17. What is an AU and/or a parsec?
18. What is a black hole?
19. How long does a supernova last?
20. What is a red giant?
21. What is a white dwarf?
22. What is red and blue shift?
23. What is the Big Bang?
24. What is the difference between astronomy and astrology and why is astrology not a science?

Religion


25. What do Muslims believe?
26. What do people of the Jewish faith believe?
27. What do Christians believe?
28. What do Hindus believe?
29. What do Buddhists believe?
30. What do Taoists and the Shinto believe?
31. What is an Atheist?
32. What is an Agnostic?
33. What were the Crusades?
34. What is Jihad?
35. What is the problem of evil?
36. What is the difference between a myth, a cult, and a religion?

Civics

37. Where are France, the U.K., the U.S., Iraq, Iran, Pakistan, China, Japan, Russia, Spain, and India?
38. What is the capital of your state or province?
39. Why is your town named what it’s named?
40. Who is your mayor/representative?
41. What are separation of powers?
42. What is/is the purpose of a bicameral or tricameral legislature?
43. What does democracy mean?
44. What is a representative republic?
45. What is communism?
46. What is socialism?
47. What is fascism?
48. What is a dictator?

Ancient History


49. When was writing invented?
50. Who invented the printing press?
51. What were the dark ages?
52. What was the renaissance?
53. Why is mesopotamia called the ‘cradle of life’ and what’s happening there now?
54. What are the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World and isn’t it funny that you don’t know what Herostratic fame is?
55. What were the Spring and Autumn period in China?
56. Why don’t you know any ancient Asian, African, or American history?

Modern History


57. Who was in/won the first World War?
58. Who was in/won the second World War?
59. What was the Cold War?
60. What are the names of ten former presidents or prime ministers?
61. What are the names of five current presidents or prime ministers?
62. When were the Olympics restarted?
63. What was the Enlightenment?
64. What was the Industrial Revolution?

Biology

65. What is evolution?
66. What is taxonomy and why is it so cool?
67. What is genetics and how does it work?
68. What is a gene or a chromosome?
69. What is homeostasis?
70. What is cell theory?
71. What is germ theory?
72. What is a vaccine?
73. What is a virus?
74. What is DNA?
75. What’s the difference between a prokaryote and a eukaryote?
76. What’s the difference between evolution and intelligent design and why is intelligent design not a science?

Geology


77. How old is the Earth?
78. What are tectonic plates?
79. What was Pangaea?
80. What was one extinction event?

Logic and Philosophy


81. What is validity?
82. What is soundness?
83. What does the phrase ‘beg the question‘ mean?
84. What is the difference between induction and deduction?

Statistics, Economics, and Mathematics


85. What is the difference between validity and accuracy?
86. What is the difference between mean, median, and mode?
87. What is margin of error?
88. What is the difference between net and gross?

Physics

89. What is gravity?
90. What is relativity?
91. Why is an atomic bomb so powerful?
92. What is radiation?
93. Why do magnets work?
94. Why does a microwave warm up food?
95. How does you cell phone/bluetooth work?
96. What do LASER and RADAR stand for?
97. What is Chaos theory according to Jurassic Park?
98. What are the laws of thermodynamics?
99. What are Newton’s three laws of motion?
100. Explain quantum theory. Use examples.

It took me a month to write this out, so give it a shot. How many of these do you think you can answer?

(Please note that as Sim Pixelonia’s leaders grow and learn. Here is part I, here is part II, and here is part III)

Welcome back to Sim Pixelonia. Today we will continue our discussion on the economy and move on to government and foreign policy.

Pixelonia has a mandatory maximum wage. There is no minimum wage, but the de facto minimum is what people are willing to work for, which is sufficient.

Trade is taxed relative to the nature of the country of origin’s human rights and environmental record. Tax money acquired from trade with, say China, would then be donated to human rights and environmental charities, thus promoting an equal playing field for all countries.

Voting is an odd affair, as one can vote for or against a candidate. If you vote for, you are allowed a ‘second choice’ vote, which will only count if your first choice does not pass 15% of the votes. This system means that third parties are both viable and effective. Furthermore, it means that every person running for office will attempt to secure the most positive votes and fewest negative votes.

Politicians are viciously fact checked by reporters and government offices, ensuring that elected officials speak the whole truth. Every year, citizens can vote to recall a politician from office. Usually this is only a nominal endeavor with few people voting, but sometimes it can lead to a recall of a widely corrupt or incompetent political figure.

Our bicameral legislature is composed of the Senate, which is composed of highly educated elected officials from various parts of the country, and the People, which is simply every person. Interested parties can propose and track bills, vote for and against them, and organize via a secure online Web site. This makes for a very fluid democracy, which would be devastating in other countries, but is not in Pixelonia because of the highly educated nature of our populace.

Religion is freely accepted, but barred from government intervention. In Pixelonia, the wall between church and state has a moat, drawbridge, and trolls.

Our ‘open borders‘ allow anybody who can pass a psychological test, intelligence test, and background check into the country temporarily. Once in the country, the immigrants must spend a predetermined amount of time in service (working for the government or volunteering in some fashion) before they are allowed a path to citizenship. This does not apply to foreign nationals who wish to simply visit, attend university, or be sponsored for work.

Pixelonia is an advocate for world peace. Political figures travel far and wide to negotiate economic and political settlements.

Pixelonia has goals, some of which are short term, but many of which are long term. These goals are continuously updated as the civilization grows.

Hey… you!
I have just received your letter and was rather confused by the advice. You told me to ignore grades and make friends, but I took that to be a typo. Surely you wanted me to ignore friends and make grades, right? Your letter seemed to think what I do with my life will somehow affect yours, but I can’t see how that follows at all. Besides, your advice was all aimed at things I haven’t done yet. What good is that kind of advice? I guess I’ll just ignore it until it does make sense.

Anyway, I wanted to ask what I’m doing with my life at age 22. The way I figure, you’re about old enough now to have made your first million, right? That’s probably how you sent that letter back in time. Also, did you ever end up using that costume I designed to fight crime? I was looking at it right now and realized I hadn’t put in enough pockets for gummy worms. I’ll keep working on it for you, okay?

Wow. You’re 22. What’s that like? I bet you’re really strong. Does your wife like that? How many kids do you guys have? Are any of them in college?

Also, I wanted to know if you and Luis were still best friends forever. Was he your best man at your wedding? I bet he ate a lot of cake. He likes cake.

So, now that you’re retired and a millionaire, do you have parties all the time? I bet you hang out with your brother almost every day. Me and him are on okay terms right now, but that’s just because we got a second controller to the Sega. Do you have a Sega? Sega has probably come out with a much better system in your time, though. Right?

Hey! What if you reply to this with some old (to you) copies of various Sega games?? I like Sonic and Shinning Force, but Phantasy Star is good too.

Please reply really quickly! I really want some games! Plus also: I want to know more about your supermodel wife. Does she know about your secret crime fighting? Does she fight crime with you?

Awesome.

Sincerely,
Pixel, age 10, © 1995

p.s. Don’t worry about your life disappointing me. It won’t, I’m sure. I don’t care if you only fight crime on the weekends and your wife is only a part-time model. Or what else is it? Has the commissioner not given you the key to the city yet? Because it’s all politics, you know.