31. I refused to keep a resume until I graduated from college. I sort of regret that now. I look much, much worse on paper than I do in real life.
I’m not sure why people always think about attractiveness first when thinking about their ideal lover. Actually, I am sure, I just wish it weren’t the case, as it is such a flimsy basis for anything. Anyway, I’m going to do my own version of Moof’s list. In no particular order, 15 things I want in a lover:
- Humor. Even if she does not make jokes of her own, she must at least laugh at them. There is, of course, an ideal amount of laughter. A too jolly lady is just as bad as one that is taciturn.
- Irreverence. That’s the nicest way to say “will put up with my lack of reverence for most things in life.” I’ve had dates end before the meal arrived because of this point.
- Rationality. I don’t care if she disagrees with everything I say (including if and but), as long as she has thought about the reasons for her points of view.
- Genius. After high school, intelligence becomes a strange construct, where people can have a different skill set and yet still be as smart. In this case, genius means an area of depth and specialty.
- Intellectuality. A person can be an intellectual without being educated and smart without being intellectual. Intellectuality is a desire and passion for knowledge.
- Availability. Yeah, I don’t want to date married chicks. I’m sure they’re great (at least one person thinks so, right?), but I try to avoid drama. You understand.
- Chemistry. There’s nothing worse than being a few seconds out of sync in a conversation with someone.
- Communication. I wish I knew Morse code. Failing that, I’d settle for just someone who said what they meant, meant what they said, and shared what they thought.
- Sincerity. Basically no acerbic, caustic, acid, snide, or sarcastic people. Conversation should flow like a stream, not stall like a minefield.
- Drive. I have nothing against housewives, I just have nothing in common with them either. Professional womyn are where it’s at for me.
- Ethicality. That’s not a word, but it should be. I’d like to date a vegetarian or an environmentalist chick. That seems like it’d be nice.
- Patience. Rather, a lack of impatience. There’s nothing scarier than an angry woman.
- Attractiveness. I suppose I should be attracted to her. That might help.
- Fitness. Also, she should not be about to die.
- Obscurity. To get vague references to poorly thought-out, obscure work.
I write the list, knowing full well that a woman might meet every requirement without being a good mate and vice versa. A person is more than the sum of their parts. Anyone that isn’t is not a very worthwhile person.
(update 11/9: Also, Trust and Faithfulness. Shit. I knew I’d forgotten something!)
(update 3/10: Sane and Emotionally Available now take the place of Patience and Obscurity.)