Tag: advice

Life is living through distinctions you had once denied existed

This is my third, and probably final year on the academic job market. I have been doing extremely well: I applied to 16 jobs, have been interviewed by six departments, and been offered fly-outs to four of those. My former adviser sent me a single-word email, “wow” when I told him. I’m super nervous, but…

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How to stay friends with an ex

It’s a multi-step process, actually.  I’ll divide it into Before, During, After, and Throughout. Before Be friends.  Let simmer for at least three months, but ideally six. Treat your friends and their friends well. Sprinkle good experiences throughout. During Don’t cheat. Don’t lie. Don’t steal. Don’t abuse physically/mentally. Say what you mean, mean what you…

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Stupid things you can do after a break up

I.  Go back to her Beg Plead Negotiate Claim to just want to “talk” Pretend that you just really want to go back to being her friend II.  Confrontation With her a.  In public b.  In private c.  Out of nowhere (avoid for stalkerish reasons) With some guy (violence optional) a.  In public b.  In…

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Nice Guys Screw Themselves

She calls you up late at night complaining about the latest jerk thing her assenine boyfriend did to her. You’re busy and you can’t use your phone for very much longer, but you stay on the line and listen because she’s crying, she came to you, and you’re a nice guy, damn it! If he’s…

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Gabe the High-Brow Beaver

Dear Gabe, Why do people shave their eyebrows? -Seattle-based Service Administrator. Dear Ass-backwards, You are probably saying this in remarks to what a local editor of a local paper did to his local face. Well, the most simple response to that is that people are stupid. We’re not saying this local editor is stupid, after…

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Gabe v. Joseph Lovato

Dear Gabe, I have a friend that’s having some problems with his mates. See, this friend, let’s call him Fishypoo, is living with this guy, let’s call him donkeybuttbrain, who is not your typical roommate. Assuming your typical roommate doesn’t bring his girlfriend down and try to hide her from you. What’s more is that…

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