Pixelated Gaming

I’ve created a bunch of games over my lifetime. Here, in all their glory, are all the ones I could find in the archives:

People projecting their labels on you projekt:
hold hands with a friend of yours of the opposite sex for one day. See if you can make it 24 hours without anybody commenting. After that, try groping each other for one day.

Fun with Spell Check:”
the aim of this game is to type in two identical sentences and have one of them spell-checked (always picking the first recommended word).

Win, Lose, or Drew:”
Get online just as someone posts something, then keep changing the page until the person realizes that they’re being messed with.

A False Sense of Humor:”
Say something in such a way that people laugh or otherwise react immediately then pause while the whole meaning of what you said hits them and react to the whole of it. In other words, try to mislead them into a reaction while seeming like you didn’t. Uncomfortable hilarity ensues.

Tempting Death:”
Stop looking both ways before crossing the street, stop using seat belts, stop all of life’s little preventive measures for your safety. Alternatively, find a street with a dozen stop signs in a row and drive your car down it at 200 kmph without stoping at any of them.

Person, Person, Walking Advertisement:”
The goal is to find the most people in a row without running into somebody that is wearing clothes or carrying objects that have a name brand or logo prominently displayed.So you go by walking on campus and you say “person” over and over again until you run into someone wearing a giant Addidas shirt (for instance), then you start over again.

Oil Crisis in Action:”
The goal is to find the most cars in a row that have just one person in them. Double points for Suburbans or SUVs. Once you find a car that has two people or more, you must start over.

Double Take:”
The aim of the game is to make people do double takes. The person that gets the most in one day wins. So far I’ve always won as I’ve never shared the aim of the game with anybody.

Oomph maximization projekt:”
Get Twelve Hugs and a Laugh Today.

Intelligence in Inappropriate Places projekt::”
What intelligence is there in places you’d least suspect? Let’s look in bathroom stalls and random walls to find thoughts to live by for one day.

You’re never going to guess who, trust me:”
Come up behind a total stranger (extra points if they’re talking in a group) and cover their eyes. They will try to guess who you are. After a minute, uncover their eyes and when they ask “do I know you?”Say, “of course not, what would be the fun of the game if you did?”

98% Fewer:”
While not getting arrested:

  • prevent humans from acting in such a way as to cause pain to other creatures
  • not help humans survive when I am able to do so at will
  • find a way to eliminate humans that is socially acceptable (or create a coalition of people whose purpose is to eliminate humans, and is accepted by society)
  • sterilize humans.

Nerd Heckling:”
While listening to a serious speech you disagree with, shout out random (or stastically inconsequential) comments like, “Your mom and I did the 1000101!” or “The question to life, the universe, and everything is how many times over does your speech suck!” or “you roll 3d20 and get snake eyes, oooh, pwned!”

Extreme Analogies (new!):”
Every time somebody says a qualifier, respond with the formula of “yeah, but not as [qualifier] as [random, absurdly complicated extreme].”
For instance:
“That was uncomfortable.”
“Not as uncomfortable as a 400 pound man doing the tango naked with a Mother Superior in front of sixteen primary school children!”

Random Hurtful Hypotheticals:”
An idea for a new game came to me while posing an obscenely hurtful thought experiment to my mate over the question of trust. The game is thus:

2: Imagine you realized one day that you were terrible in bed and had been for years and that every encounter you had had left the woman feeling worse than before, but nobody said anything to not hurt your feelings. Then you found out that they’d told every one of your friends this behind your back and they’d filmed an encounter and
giftwrapped it and were planning on giving it to your mother for Christmas as a
prank. How would you feel?
1: Pretty damn awful. Why?
2: No reason, I just thought I’d ask.
1: Oh.

Random Intelligence:”
The point is for me to provide you with five to ten new (to me) facts, figures, or stories. These need not be particularly rare, important, or obvious, but interesting and true. The goal is to cover the huge gulf that is my ignorance of the world around me with a few random facts that I can throw out if I ever have to discuss these in public.

Mean juxtaposition:”
Combine two extreme opposites in a list in the hopes that the person you’re talking to (preferrably on IM) will respond to the first and expected last as one… only to realize too late that they were just jerks.


2: So, I got a new puppy today…
1: That’s nice.
2: And a 100 % on my Final exam…
1: cool, cool.
2: And I got a new girlfriend and a new DVD player…
2: And I found out I have two weeks left to live.
1: Congrats
1: Wait. No! Sorry. I’m talking about the gf and DVD player.
2: Bastard.
2: Oh.. sorry.
2: You’re still a bastard, though… jackass.

Sayonara Small Talk:”
When speaking with someone you barely know, ask coarse, random, insightful, or personal questions as if you’d known them for years. The goal is to eliminate all ‘small talk’ from the face of the planet.

1: So, how was your weekend?
2: Good. And what’s your greatest fear? Also, do you believe in the gods? And how big is your penis?

You know what you should do?
The game is to give advice that will, if followed, produce the most awkward and objectively hilarious situation possible. The goal is to keep a straight face while giving it and give it interchangeably with regular, good advice.

New Year’s Resolutions
18 New Year’s Resolutions, each of which has 20 days (about three weeks) to be completed. The goal is to have them be measurable statements and complete as many as possible in the year.

Auf wiedensehen small talk

Instead of avoiding small talk, you continue it– in staccato. Here’s an example. Remember, the aim of the game is to keep the person as uncomfortable as possible for as long as possible without them realizing that you are enjoying their discomfort:

Andy: So how are you today?
Pixel: I’m good. Just here, working.. You know.
Andy: Yeah. Work sucks.
Pixel: Yeah, sometimes..
Andy: Well…
Pixel: Sometimes it’s not bad though.
Andy: I know what you mean. Everything has its good parts.
Pixel: Oh, yeah. I completely agree.
Andy: ….
Pixel: Totally.
Andy: Well, I gotta–
Pixel: Like, whenever I don’t have to do what the boss-man says, I’m happy.
Andy: Yeah…
Pixel: :)
Andy: Anyway, I have work to do.
Pixel: Yeah, me too.
Andy: Well–
Pixel: Work sucks.
Andy: Yeah, sometimes..

You let the conversation wane into a stand-still, then, just as they try to get out of it— You zoom back into the conversation and suck them in with you!


  1. “Intelligence in Inappropriate Places projekt::”

    I once found something intelligent in the bush administration. That was unexpected.

    “Extreme Analogies (new!):” Yeah, but now as unexpected as that time I managed to catch a picture of a woman with her mouth closed.

  2. Can anyone get double takes like identical twins? Oh! And is there an age limit for the subjects? Identical twins get double (triple, quadruple, etc) takes from babies…

  3. Ha, I already play Extreme Analogies. If you ever encounter a situation where you can’t think of a sufficient extreme, say “your face” or “your mom.”

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