Rooting around in your friends’ business

A comment from a reader led me to challenge my math (singular, because I employed only one mathematic). As you will no doubt recall, I recently calculated that a friend of a friend was a friend squared. This made sense only when I assigned a numerical value less than or equal to one (1) to my friends (which has gotten me into trouble before).

My fuzzy maths were incorrect (obviously), but I didn’t realize it until Steve pointed out the humour potential of calling a friend of a friend a square root of a friend.

Not only does it make numerical sense in my fuzzy head, but it makes humourous sense in Australia.

And that’s really all I care about most days.

If a friend of a friend is ?F, and an enemy of your enemy is your friend (?E = F), then it follows that one enemy is worth a friend squared.

And this time, there isn’t any playing with negative numbers because the square root is going in the wrong direction (right).

How does it make sense that a friend is only worth the square root of an enemy?

I’d wager to say that it’s because the units are meaningless. I mean, I came up with them out of nowhere and attempted to force algebra into everyday life, which isn’t as easy to do as you may have thought.

Mr. Melendrez was full of it.


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