Obviously, Not Woody

History is fun!

So, wait, what exactly did Napoleon do wrong at Waterloo? Was it just that he had split up his forces to scare away the Prussians, but didn’t actually succeed in anything but splitting up his forces and defeating a rather cowardly Prussian engagement?

And where is Prussia anyway? What is it? Is it still around? Why haven’t we heard from them lately? Where can I find Prussian chocolate and Prussian fine-engineered cars? Is it related to Russia? I know Immanuel Kant was Prussian, which is odd, considering he’s considered a German philosopher, but the land he lived in is now considered part of Russia. I also know that in World War I, Germany wasn’t really a country, but more of a shadow of the 18th century and that eventually, the Kingdom of Prussia became the Free State of Prussia, which, according to the map, is the worst possible shape a Free State can take.

Nobody ever explains Prussia. And what the hell is up with Austria-Hungary? Am I the only one that thinks it’s made up? What are the odds that an empire with two names will eventually break up into two countries… each with one of the names? It just doesn’t make sense, it seems like a historian’s invention and no Czechoslovakian is going to change my mind otherwise.

Speaking of Czechoslovakia, did they ever fight in any wars? Did they ever have any alliances? Or were they too young of a country to go through all that? Is that more of a teenage country phenomenon? Did Prussia ever get to be a teenage country?

How old were they when they wiped the field with Napoleon at Waterloo? And can it really be fair to say that they did, when Napoleon honestly thought that half of his troops were chasing them away as he stood there, waiting for the grass to dry?

Speaking of which, is that why Waterloo is called his greatest blunder? It it because instead of taking on Wellington’s forces when he had enough manpower to do it, he waited until the previous night’s rain evaporated? Is that a blunder? Really?

I mean… what if the guy seriously didn’t want to get his boots all muddy? Who can honestly blame him for that?

It could happen to anyone. I hear Alexander the Great pricked his finger while attacking the Melli and had to stop fighting because he couldn’t stop crying profusely.

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