Schadenfreude is the greatest word in the English language

I used to hate Paris Hilton because I felt she was the embodiment of fame for fame’s sake.  I never bothered seeing The Simple Life because it was advertised as championing the cause of the stupid blonde who was too stupid to know any better.

Then she got arrested.  Admittedly, I thought it didn’t deserve to be classified as news, but the subsequent drama has made me reconsider.  It made me reconsider Hilton’s role in civilization altogether.

She’s not here for us to admire and emulate.  She’s here for us to watch the slow, deadly destruction of.  She’s our Guy Fawkes.  She’s our Jesus.  She’s here to take all of our hate and concentrate it on her.  It’s really quite noble if you think about it (think really hard).

PLUS, if you’re feeling voyeuristic, she’s also here to let us see some bad sex, which is really much more than Jesus ever did.  He died for our sins, but she gave grainy head.  Who’s better?

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