Making me ashamed

50. I have asthma now, but apparently I don’t in the future. What the Flip?

Young Pixel here, responding to yesterday’s post. Here’s the necessary quote:

I told myself that I would eventually have enough disposable income to buy candies whenever I saw one of those machines and felt like a sweet confectionery.

Anyway, I realized that I wasn’t living up to the standards I had set for myself so long ago. I wasn’t going back in time and giving myself Super Nintendo games I picked up in a pawn (pwn!) shop, I wasn’t fighting crime, I wasn’t becoming a doctor president, I wasn’t finishing my collection of awesome ninja turtles and making time every day to play with them, and I wasn’t making $300k a year and buying my parents a house

…

So I’ve decided to make me proud. I’m going to work at it until I accomplish all of the goals I set for myself…

What the heck? For gosh’s sake, where do I flippin’ start with how he misrepresents me and what a disappointment he is? First of all, I never really expected to make $300k, that was just the amount of money that I would need to stay in a hotel in Hawai’i for ever. And I’m sooo through with ninja turtles. Now I’m onto X-Men. And that’s okay if I don’t play with them in the future. Who knows what toys will be popular then? And what the heck is the doctor president line? I have never EVER wanted to be a doctor.

But not bringing me back Nintendo games you bought in a pawn shop? Yeah, that’s just cold. Man, when the heckfire are you going to figure out time travel?? Because I need it now!

And frankly, the fact that you think you can appease me by buying 25¢ runts from a candy machine? Wow, I feel sorry for whomever you’re married to. That’s always just a passing fancy, I don’t know why you think you have to buy some every time in order to make me proud. It’s already far, far too late for that.