Yeah, well that's generally what these feel like.

My ten least favorite social interactions

  1. Meeting someone you don’t know in a semi-public place.  So you’re forced to make furtive eye-contact with everyone until you find someone that you think might be them.  So now you have to go up and talk to them, but you really don’t want to talk to anybody that might not be them, so you just stand around looking awkwardly, hoping you can divine to whom you should go speak.
  2. Being forced to talk to a stranger that you don’t find interesting.  Especially if it is a person who you know through someone else that you don’t know or like very much.
  3. Sitting next to a person at the DMV or on the airplane that is just a bit more talkative than you are.
  4. Talking to someone who knows a secret about you.  And you know they know.  And they know you know they know.  But nobody says anything.
  5. Not being able to understand or hear someone… at all.  But they just keep asking questions and you’ve asked them to repeat themselves so many times..
  6. The first time you run into someone after a bad confrontation or situation.
  7. When someone ignores you because neither of you knows how to act around each other, but the ignoring has just passed the subtle point and is now obvious to both parties.  Only they can’t very well stop ignoring you and pretend they didn’t see you, so they keep on doing it anyway.
  8. When you are that somebody (from #7).
  9. Saying goodbye accidentally then being forced to continue walking with someone for a bit because they’re going in the same direction you are.
  10. Accidentally splashing your pants or getting food on your shirt, then being forced to meet someone new or present to a group of people.


  1. I was standing in line at the post office yesterday and this guy asked me what I did. Only it sounded like he had cotton in his mouth; I couldn’t understand a word he said. So I kept talking so that I wouldn’t be forced to listen to him. Only he kept asking me what the major views of Plato and Aristotle and Socrates were. And what gods they prayed to. And what they thought about the Christian god.

    … I wanted very much to just turn around and leave.

  2. i once had to explain to a group of people that, with two exceptions, i had only just met what a cleveland steamer was.

    i think what surprised me the most is that a person can go through 20+ years of life and not know what a cleveland steamer is.

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