Listening to Noel Carroll on @philosophybites. Reminds me of why I got into– and out of– philosophy of humor. It’s a funny story, actually..

I had to or else I would’ve had to turn my Man Card in. And I worked so hard to get it back after those fourth graders stole my lunch money!

Say what you will about terms of endearment, but nobody who has ever called me ‘sweetie’ has ever punched me in the face.

Today we should do an #afterthefactscavengerhunt First item: find two school busses going in reverse. Check! Second item: find a master doctor. #afterthefactscavengerhunt Check! Third item: have someone you know one way reveal that they’d secretly met youi n a…

Thanks @gabethebeaver. You’re a real help! #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement #factmaynotnecessarilybetrue

I wrote a one-act play when I was 16 and now I can’t find it. This is damned depressing.

Do you remember the movie Encino Man? Why or Why not?

“She’s not out of your league. There are no leagues. It’s just a big pick-up game. And the object is to get as high of a score as possible.”

Stuff You Missed in History Class needs a male host. Or at least someone that would chuckle at the name “Cock’s Castle.”

Problem: I want to start a daily, year-long project. But 2012 is a leap year and that’s just too much work.

“Jan: You think that’s bad, I played rapeball in prison. Losing at that was worse than death.. Mieke: In home country, consent is bad omen.”

Ain’t no party like a post-defense party cuz a post-defense party don’t stop.

My BreFF just passed her dissertation defense! Congratulations, Dr. Bre!!!

@gabethebeaver – If I disapprove of a business’ practices, is it okay to kidnap a random employee and hunt him or her for sport?

I want to get married on #aprilfools day. That way you’d be covered for anything, ever: “Wait, you didn’t think this was serious, did you?”

My team was eliminated in March Madness which means that it’s now time for April Apathy.

Here are six adjectives and nouns- feel free to mix and match for humor: efficient, tolerable, boner-killing; Love, pregnancy, molten lava.

I play scrabble like I drive: I get massive points early then just coast for a while. Wait, did I say ‘drive?’ I meant ‘make love.’