I almost mistakenly walked into the ladies’ room until I realized it didn’t smell of omni-urine.
I almost mistakenly walked into the ladies’ room until I realized it didn’t smell of omni-urine.
I almost mistakenly walked into the ladies’ room until I realized it didn’t smell of omni-urine.
You offer an olive branch, I get an axe.
Smartphones make dumb drivers.
I put ‘surprise quiz’ on the agenda today. Waited until the end of class and then told them the surprise quiz thought experiment.
I’m thankful that I don’t have a middle name only when I’m at the DMV or when chased by the Terminator.
Whoever said sunlight is the best disinfectant had obviously never heard of photosynthesis.
Dear car dealerships: when saying “won’t last long,” please specify whether you mean at the lot or in real life.
If I only had ten minutes left to live, I would call home to tell my parents I love them. “Dad,” I’d say. “…Can you put mom on?”
In Key West – Here’s hoping Tropical Storm Irene is like a Gusher’s commercial.
I’m in Key West and am having all of the Key Lime Pie I can manage. Or, as they call it here, Here Lime Pie.
“It’s okay, you didn’t see any more than you’d see at the beach.” “Yes I did!” “Yeah, well– you need to go to better beaches.”
I wish money were no object. Instead, money is object.
“We have nothing to fear, but fear itself…. because fear is, like, really, really scary.” #oftenmisquoted
The WiFi on this plane is brought to me by Diet Coke. The page they redirect me to is their Facebook page. Has life truly become this lame?
@Mablicia – We’re going to miss you. Seriously. It might be sad. Almost nobody is going: Super Friend Bash might not be a good idea. 🙁
Hay Gauys! Would you like to buy a used Honda Civic Hybrid? I just replaced the electric engine and got new tires. Unfortunately… it has 145,000 miles and the transmission is shot– Jiffy Lube tightened it up too harshly and…
Okay, so maybe insomnia is just my default state now.
The best place to get work done is waiting for service without an appointment at the Apple Genius Bar. Nobody _ever_ bothers you.