Academic Advice Column
Dear Gabe, Many months ago, my adviser recommended I add a particular faculty member to my committee: call him Dr. X. I had misgivings about adding Dr. X because I’ve never known him to have any students and I’d heard…
Gabe the Beaver
Tao of Gabe: Probably some stupid title again
Hello and welcome new denizens to another classic column by your very own Gabriel O’Beaver Leibowitz. As you are well aware, next week shall be New Mexico College of Agriculture and Mechanic Arts’ March week off from school (Go NM…
Tao of Gabe: Obituary
Gabe the Notorious Beaver, 18, passed away Sunday from congenital heart failure and dehydration caused by chronic, explosive diarrhea. He was 21. Beaver, widely recognized for his record-worthy control of his flatulence and butt-gustingly hilarious columns in local and international…
Tao of Gabe: On Canadian Memories
Gabe the Magnanimous Beaver here to reminisce about my youth, so shut up, stupid! See, I was raised in French Canadia— don’t let this fool you, it’s just a reference to the type of kissing we do— and in Canada,…
Tao of Gabe: On Mass Guys
Tao of Gabe Gabe the Light-hearted Beaver here continuing his analysis of what happens when the human genders, XY and Roman numeral twenty, are forced into confined spaces for large periods of time. As you’ll recall, last week I gave…
Tao of Gabe: On Mass Girls
Jayna, To prepare for this article, I lived with twenty-six girls for a period of six months. I just don’t mention them in the article because I barely made it up right now. Love, Gabe. ~o_O~ Gabe the Ketotic Beaver…
Tao of Gabe: On Ninja Speak, Arguments
Jayna, I’m probably going to take a week off soon. This is killing me. And Pix’s criticisms aren’t helping. -Gabe ~~~ Tao of Gabe Gabe the Jingoistic Beaver here with another lesson in ‘Ninja Speak.’ Ninja Speak is an elusive…
Tao of Gabe: On Writing the Tao of Gabe
Jayna, This how to guide got me through writing this how to guide. Love, Gabe Tao of Gabe Gabe the Iconoclastic Beaver here with a lesson in humor writing. You might well have incorrectly gathered that writing humor is simple…
Tao of Gabe: Welcome Back
Dear Fans, Gabe the Hysterical Beaver here welcoming you back to another warm and joyous semester of beaver-related hijinks. I’m your local newspaper’s humor columnist. As a 3’ 1” beaver with a bitch for a wife, a fox for a…
Tao of Gabe: On Finals Dreaming…
Gabe the Gorgeous Beaver is finally done with his final exams. And now all I have to do is wait for the results that will tell me whether my beaver papillomavirus (BPV) is still malignant. Failed pick-up lines: “Quick! Let’s…