The temperature is approximately 70 degrees right now (Fahrenheit. Approximately 21.1 degrees Celsius). Nice, ain’t it? Never mind that it’s technically the low for today. The high was 104 (40 degrees Celsius). Apparently, this will continue for another week. Luckily,…
*sigh* No more Bible talk. I usually don’t shy away from confrontations, but my heart’s just not in this, and I know it’ll be a pretty terrible battle soon. In fact, no more witty observations about day-to-day life. I find…
Apparently, someone has a problem with one of my positions. Now, while I fully believe that I am correct, I accept that I was just picking a fight to see who’d comment.It’s a terrible method of seeing if I’m being…
I need new categories. I feel like I’m using snarkage too much and I can’t even categorize some of my posts. Any help? The current categories are: snarkage crazy-ass anecdote administrative business advocacy thought experiment I’m thinking of adding categories…
I take back all of my railing against Star Wars. Any movie that makes a political statement against the Prez is alright with me.. Except for that damned Fahrenheit 9 What was with that? Seriously…
While cruising today, I noticed that of the dozen or so stations on the radio, a full four of them were Christian. This man on one station was complaining about people who comment on the bible. “Why listen to them…
When I first bought my car, I thought, “ooh, a hybrid! All my car woes will cease from this day forth.” Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…
I have a friend who had been in a committed relationship for about a million years. Some time ago, they broke up because my friend cheated–multiple times– with a person five years older who was also in a blasted relationship.…
After several years of publicly denouncing ‘yo momma’ jokes and insults, I finally began spewing them like no orifice was enough. I didn’t want to, but I couldn’t stop. Finally, just as my friends started partaking in the festivities, I…
Turns out I didn’t get up at 10:20. I wanted to, but I didn’t. I suspect it’s Lou Gehrig’s Disease, I should call my old, favorite student, comission he write a book of me, so then some guy eight years…
I love blogger. These tutorials can even let me look like a savvy techno-guy. And now… sleep. In case you didn’t read the newly positioned permalink (top right), it’s 5:02 right now… and I have to get up at 10:20.
Boy, is my face red. Yours would be too if you’d just finished a weekend filled with fires, weeds, dirty water, yo mamma jokes, little or no Halo, swimming, a ten mile hike of death, a surprisingly awesome party with…
Have you ever heard something that made you laugh or chuckle? But then you go back and analyze it and you find out that you have no idea what the person’s angle is or what he’s really saying? I live…
What?? You didn’t vote for Nader?? You’re sooo out of my blog. What?? You eat meat?? You’re soooo gone. What?? Your hair is short?? That sound like something HITLER would do!! You’re sooooo kicked out. What?? You’re Super-Christian?? You’re soooooo…
This post is bigger than the ratio of George Lucas’ movie writing skill to the success of his movies. If this is your first time on this blog, go away, we don’t want you here. Go see Morris. He wants…
Acabo de acabar mis exámenes finales. Ay Caramba, como me violaron… Me siento como si mis pompis jamas se cerrarán completamente otra vez. Pinches examenes… Ay. Pero lo qué se me parece más gracioso es que NUNCA estudié. En serio,…
What happens when the TV series you grew up watching was non-canonical? Do you give up your claims to its awesomeness and superiority over other incarnations and interpretations of it? Do you investigate these incarnations with a more accepting eye…
all cops are bastards, parking enforcers are the tools of bastards.
$115 Million budget for the sixth movie in a franchise that passed its peak 25 years ago… The Phantom Menace sucked anus, the Attack of the Clones was the equivalent of a live fart, what makes anybody want to watch…
Note: relatively long post. First time visitors to this blog should go away. Possibly to barely-legal, the blog. Humans spend one third of their life asleep. Not all at once, mind you, you can’t go to sleep at 50, wake…
Dear Readers, I just finished the Wikipedia Americana. Yes, I know I started off reading the Encyclopædia Canadia, but that’s just one of my quirks. I always finish things I didn’t even start. It’s the reason my divorce was so…
Note to Self: Ibook, youbook, we all book for Facebook! Note to Self: That rhyme doesn’t work with anything but Myspace. Note to Self: What’s Myspace? Note to Self: What’s Facebook? Note to Self: I don’t know. I’m Australian. Note…
Pixel Q. Styx: ‘Tis a good title, you think? Albus Dumbledore: I love it. In fact, it’s good enough to be a movie title! Pixel: Oh, like the hit book of the same name, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince?…
The following is, word for word, the notes that I had for my Pro-PATRIOT Act presentation in which I handed my opponents their bums on a platter: constitution is a living document under attack, countries withdraw C Library records avail.…
Worst things that can happen to you during finals: You show up to your Final Exams only to realize that there was a class you never showed up for throughout the semester and you have to make up for it…
Crudler. It is now May. The month of the emerald. Taurus cusp Gemini. The Roman Kalends of Maius. Peter Parker’s aunt May. Can I? Yes you can, but May you is the question. It’s May. May May May. And as…
… Am I the only one who has ever cried at the Simpsons? Also, check out this crazy ass quote: “People who have worked in and lived near tanneries are dying of cancer caused by exposure to toxic chemicals used…
Continued from “Bill of Rights“ Amendment XI The Judicial power of the United States shall not be construed to extend to any suit in law or equity, commenced or prosecuted against one of the United States by Citizens of another…
So, apparently, I pissed off Tyler Woodard with this comment. Who is T. Woodard, you ask? Hmmm.. Well, he’s from Washington, apparently (bloody hell, how many of you are there? Good god, people…). And he’s really, really into 1337 Speek.…
What is this? Why does he have the same title as I? Why is it all cream and orange? And why, oh, why, is he first on the result list for Google? I think I’m going to cry.
When I first started this group, I checked everyone on our school directory to make sure they weren’t Parking Nazis (never mind the ethics. I worried about it with every search, but the point is in practical application: people’s rights…
This is nuts. If I could pronounce some of these, I’d make up awesome swear words. No more codswallop, twatbucket, or piddlestopper for me, no sir! I’d be a world class insulter! I’d even be able to come up with…
Tonight is the Boardgame Party with Brandi (who I’ve ne’er met but is on my good side on the count that she once wrote a letter to Gabe). It’s also the day of a speech from a guy I’ve ne’er…
Ha ha! By taking out this code: , it is now impossible to delete any comments you post on here. Ha ha! Everything is permanent now! Just like Lyme Disease! Ha ha! Go ahead. Comment, then try to delete it.…
Best. Project. Ever.
Yet another letter they didn’t print. The bastards wouldn’t know skill if it bit them in the ass. This is a response to this letter and these responses, by the way. Feebleminded Thinking Allow me to come to the defense…
No blog post today. I just don’t feel like it. Sorry.
Or, how I learned to stop worrying, and love my masthead. Note how little I care about most of my audience not knowing what this is? Note how little I care about you having to scroll in two different directions…
Damn. Now, according to the modified poll results, I should shut my trap. So I have. Now all of the poor rabbits I’d caught earlier this week are going to die a slow, shady death. I kid, I kid. There’s…
From Stephen D: It’s UNAMERICAN to pay journalists to promote GOP policies, then stonewall the investigation into who in the administration was behind it. It’s UNAMERICAN to blow the cover of a CIA agent and put the lives of her…
Genetically modified foods are crazy. It’s one of the reasons I don’t eat meat. Check this out: if cows eat genetically modified food (which is bad), and are themselves artificially kept obese, then logically they must be less safe to…
My hero. If I only had the gall to be like him:
I’ve officially created the second most popular group on nmsu facebook. Check it out: ASAPN. Also, I’ve created several unpopular groups (i.e. the arguers’ group, PeTA, and the cheese sucks association). And then there’s some in the middle (i.e. lower…
It appears that people want more randomness. So, quarter whallop transexual left turn. Speaking of QWTLT, I finished all of my papers in the wee hours of the morn’. You should all be proud of me. No longer are deadlines…
What do you want to see here? More politics More about your viewspaper. WTF happened with that? You shutting your trap! Some philosophy and deep thoughts More jokes (that you didn’t write) More humorous anecdotes (that you did write) Hardcore…