Tag: gabe the beaver

Dear Editor-lady, Gabe the Deontological Beaver here with my jam-packed submission for your peanut butter-packed newspaper. Do with it what you will, though hopefully you will print it. Also, I assume you shall contact me if I do end up ‘winning’ this mysterious and death-defying contest. In any case, there’s a slight problem with the…

Dear Gabe, Why do people shave their eyebrows? -Seattle-based Service Administrator. Dear Ass-backwards, You are probably saying this in remarks to what a local editor of a local paper did to his local face. Well, the most simple response to that is that people are stupid. We’re not saying this local editor is stupid, after…

Dear Gabe, I have a friend that’s having some problems with his mates. See, this friend, let’s call him Fishypoo, is living with this guy, let’s call him donkeybuttbrain, who is not your typical roommate. Assuming your typical roommate doesn’t bring his girlfriend down and try to hide her from you. What’s more is that…

Dear Gabe, I’ve taken a liking to boy bands. Is that bad? –Joe Pop Dear Joe, There’s absolutely nothing wrong with boy bands. In fact, they are some of that most talended musicians out there in the music biz today. Do you know how long it takes to memorize the lyrics to songs you’ve never…