The Ind e-Pen
Hm. People seemed pretty divided over last week’s e-mail. Interestingly, the division seemed to be exactly at Butt (notice I didn’t make a crack there? I could’ve, you know. It was an open shot). Now, let us further discuss things that will alienate my good friend the Butt.
Hey, let’s all discuss girls in depth. Specifically everything that we have
learned that could only be obtained from practicing with real-life women! Wouldn’t that be FUN???
(note: I hear that Butt has a girlfriend now, but I also hear that there was never a Holocaust. Implausible things have to be taken with a grain of salt, you know…)
Green Bay Packers
Or what about those Packers? Don’t they just pack chocolate? While homosexually sodomizing each other? Discuss.
Detroit Red Wings
See, now, as a Vegetabletarian, I can’t eat these wings, but it’s probably for the best. Their high levels of suck would cause my head to implode. Hm. *pop*
Say, notice how Republicans only seem to look out for those people that own businesses? What is up with that? And why do they hate the environment, black people, gay people, chicks, middle easterners, and wetbacks ever so much? What did we ever do to them? Not clean their boots well enough? And what’s with this pro-war, pro-militerization deal? Discuss.
No, I don’t think I’ll pick on the Campus Crusade for Christ (CCC? Hmm… Now, if all of these C’s are hard C’s, does that mean we could replace them with K’s and it’d sound the same? Hmm…).
No need to mock him here. You can go to Butt’s livejournal:
www.livejournal.com/users/gorzo88 and do it there.
John Cusack (from the hit movies High Fidelity, Serendipity, Identity, Uppity,
I’m not sure if Butt hates Cusack or loves him, but it’s a fair assumption that he knows of him. So I just thought I’d mention that I saw him at a rally. It turns out that this year there are hundreds of people up in arms about the election. John Cusack is one of them.
So I went there and converted the rally into my own personal Pix Capacitor distribution center. Aren’t you all proud?
A Small Quiz:
Congratulations to my dual-citizen friend. Your cowardly (err… conscientious) ways have won you a free Pix Capacitor. Specifically, Butt’s Pix Capacitor. Thus, Mr. J. B. Trust, if you can steal Butt’s issue, you’ll be golden. I recommend you wait until he gets killed in combat. That’s how I’m planning to get his stereo and/or girlfriend.
1: Why DO I always talk smack about Butt?
2: Why don’t YOU talk smack about Butt?
3: Am I the only one that feels like smacking a Butt?
p.s. From now until November, I won’t make fun of Butt. Wish me luck. It’ll be ever so difficult…