Auf wiedensehen Small Talk
- by Pixel
Here’s another game to go along with this post and fit in this post:
This game is part of my ever-long quest to destroy small talk as we know it. For those of you who remember, my last journey along this quest sought to force all small talk to cover much more intrusive questions than people are willing to divulge. I figure: if I’m going to lose two minutes of my life, I may as well find out if you like to be on the top or bottom bunk.
This new game is slightly different. Instead of avoiding small talk, you continue it… in staccato. Here’s an example. Remember, the aim of the game is to keep the person as uncomfortable as possible for as long as possible without them realizing that you are enjoying their discomfort:
Andy: So how are you today?
Pixel: I’m good. Just here, working.. You know.
Andy: Yeah. Work sucks.
Pixel: Yeah, sometimes..
Andy: Well…
Pixel: Sometimes it’s not bad though.
Andy: I know what you mean. Everything has its good parts.
Pixel: Oh, yeah. I completely agree.
Andy: …
Pixel: Totally.
Andy: Well, I gotta–
Pixel: Like, whenever I don’t have to do what the boss-man says, I’m happy.
Andy: Nobody likes being told what to do.
Pixel: Not even the ludicrously tall.
Andy: Yeah….
Pixel: 🙂
Andy: Anyway, I have–
Pixel: I’m sorry, I didn’t offend you with the tall remark, did I?
Andy: No, no, it was funny.
Pixel: 😐 It wasn’t a joke, Andy.
Andy: Hah… Yeah, well.
Pixel: Nevermind.
Andy: Well, Pix, I’ll talk–
Pixel: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bite your head off.
Andy: You didn’t.
Pixel: I felt like I did, I’m sorry.
Andy: It’s okay, but I really have to…
Pixel: Go?
Andy: Yeah, I have work to do.
Pixel: Yeah, me too.
Andy: Well…
Pixel: Work sucks.
Andy: Yeah, sometimes..
Did you figure it out yet? That’s right: you let the conversation wane into a stand-still, then, just as they try to get out of it You zoom back into the conversation and suck them in with you!
After about two times they start getting visibly uncomfortable. By number six, they get irritated, by ten they become forceful and by 25 they interrupt you to get away from your lackluster conversation.
I assume. It’s probably different for everyone and I’ve only done it once on purpose. Though I’ve had it done to me dozens of time by other people.
Related posts:
- “We Need to Talk” As per my last post, I started thinking ((keep it up, Pixel!)). The reason that “we need to talk” creates such a sense of foreboding in the person listening is because it signifies a change...
- Manifesto A spectre is haunting me — the spectre of myself as I ought to be. All the powers of old have entered into a holy alliance to exorcise this spectre: Gods and kings, old friends...
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Here’s another game to go along with this post and fit in this post: This game is part of my ever-long quest to destroy small talk as we know it. For those of you who remember, my last journey along this quest sought to force all small talk to cover much more intrusive questions than…
My last distinct memory of someone trapping me in small talk happened to be the day I walked out of Hobby Lobby holding a rather large, heavy, and expensive frame. Yet, she still had to stop me to talk.