AIM Transcripts II: How to screw with a person’s sanity

44. I’ve driven across the country 8 times. On 7 of those occasions, I had nobody accompany me. Several of those trips involved 12 hours of driving or more at any given time. Four were all in one go. It is a mind-altering experience to spend 33 solid hours driving. I wasn’t the same person on January 4, 2004 as I was on January 6.

First, read this. It says stuff like this:

My memory is failing me. To be fair, it’s been failing me as long as I can remember (*rimshot*) but it seems to be getting worse with time.

A good friend of mine pointed out to me recently that I couldn’t remember having been in the same class with him just a few years ago (andI still can’t remember no matter how hard I try, but to my credit I don’t remember ANYONE ELSE either. I’d forget I was in the class entirely if all the subject material wasn’t stlil so fresh in my mind).

…When I worked as a secretary I reguarly forgot to tell my boss when her husband called. Two hours after he’d called I’d look up and say, “Oh yeah, your husband called, he said he was outside waiting for you so you guys could go to lunch. Umm….I guess he’s gone now?” No wonder I got fired.

…What was the point of this entry…? Hey look at the time! I should really get started on that term paper.

Then, read this:

Her
Hey when am I getting that first chapter of my book back?

Me
Um. Sunday?

Her
which sunday?

Me
Sunday the 20th

Her
Of this month?

Me
Of April

Her
of this year?

Me
Yeah, no promises

Her
well…I don’t need it NOW. I have two term papers and a final due in the next few weeks. but I don’t want you to completely forget about it

Me
I’m sorry, forget about what?

Her
how the hell should I know? you contacted ME

Me
Who did? Who ARE you?

And our little operetta begins:

Her
I’m your worst nightmare. Or that chick that you sometimes talk to. Pix…were you REALLY in the Paradoxes class?

Me
YES!!

Her
lol. Why the hell can’t I remember?

Me
Wow. just wow

Her
I feel like such a jerk. Was I just totally OUT OF IT that whole semester or what? Jeez…. It’s not that I don’t believe you. I just have no way of knowing if you’re lying because I CAN’T REMEMBER! It’s like I have some weird spotty amnesia or somehting. You’d think I’d remember the one class we had together in college. That was the only one right?

Me
Where the spot just blots out my face and nothing else. NO!

Her
Oh God, don’t tell me…

Me
wow You’re like self-absorbed or something

Her
No, it doesn’t just blot out your face. It blots out EVERYONE’S face. What other class did we have together? in college

Me
Ancient Philosophy

WILD GUESS! I never even took that class!

Her
What?? What the hell? Weren’t we friends in college or what? Didn’t we talk to each other?

Me
*sigh* I talked to YOU. jeez. what. the. hell. seriously. ouch. that hurts

Her
Okay, I am seriously freaking out here. What the hell is wrong with my memory? I’m sorry :{ I’m not doing in on purpose. What the hell is wrong with my memory seriously? I remember being in classes with you in high school pretty distinctly

Me
uh huh
yeah
sure
whatever myrna
whatever

Her
hell I remember when we went to the art museum with Mr. Perez
I remember YOU convinced me to get into AP History
And that I have your voice on tape somewhere where you read some passage for me for a project

Me
And I remember YOU were in my high school or something

Her
I remember all kinds of stuff from high school. :{
I’m sorry!! Why can’t I remember?? Who else was in ancient?

Me
K-Bobb? Vincent!

Let me stop here for a bit, use the “below the fold” line, and inform you that these are both names I pulled out at random. I was never really in her ancient philosophy class, I just wanted to see how long I could keep it up. *ahem* Below the fold.

Her
Vincent? Whoa. I don’t remember Vincent…or K-Bobb. I remember Patrick and some old guy with a hat. do you remember what semester it was?

Me
Was it in the Spring?

Her
you tell me. I can’t remember anything apparently.
According to my files I had it Fall 2004

Me
That was the same semester as Paradoxes

Her
are you telling me I had you for TWO classes that semester and that I don’t remember that?

Me
Sounds like it
Do you at least remember when I used to drive you to school?

Her
Oh jeez. I seriously don’t know what the hell is wrong with my memory. …
Of course I remember that
we carpooled at least one semester
you and me and Alethea

Me
Finally, something!
Actually, Alethea only came four times

Her
You remember the exact amount of times she came??

Me
No, I just know you don’t

This is where I start to tip my hand. It still takes her forever to become suicidal enough for me to tell her it’s all an elaborate ruse, however.

Her
funny. did we sit together in ancient and paradoxes?

Me
Sort of
I was at the corner
you were in the class next door.

Her
okay. I owe you big.
I owe you huge because for some reason I blocked you from my memory or something.
which seems bizarre to me but whatever.
how about I name my first born child after you?

Me
I think Alethea already did that

Her
or since that might not ever happen, I’ll name a character after you! a main character…hey, actually I already did…sort of
Alethea’s child is named Nathaniel antares

Me
oh, damn!
I keep calling him Off-Pixel!

Her
Pix, I feel like the crummiest friend there ever was
how can I not remember one of my best friends being in class with me? you’d think you’d be the only person I remember if I didn’t remember anyone…

Me
Well, that’s what I did

Her
I’m sorry :{
I suck

Me
Yeah, you do. lame. I don’t even know why I still talk to you.

Her
maybe if I remembered something you did or said it would unlock the memory. I don’t understand this at all.

Me
I never shut up during class. ever

Her
Why do I remember stuff from high school and not that.
maybe I blocked you out on purpose then….:D kidding kidding! I meant something you said to me though where the hell was my mind that semester? jeez… all I can say is…I’m sorry and that I’m sure I”ll remember one stupid thing and it’ll all come crashing back on me, probably in the middle of the night. Pixel, this is beyond…casual forgetting. Maybe there’s something seriously wrong with my memory. It’s not normal. Were you absent to class a lot that semester by any chance?

Me
Wow. Have you ever known me to be absent? Or were you kidding?

Her
No I thought maybe you were absent a lot and that’s why I couldn’t remember

Me
Or maybe you have severe mental problems.

Her
I’m beginning to think I might have some memory problems
some serious memory problems. I’m not joking here. I’ve always been absent minded but this is beyond that. I mean sure I forgot to turn in a take home final on two separate occasions, but that was a slip of the memory, not an entire semester just missing!

Me
oh, wow

Her
stop saying wow. I already feel like shit

I was going to keep going, but I thought my blog audience would never forgive me for that. So I gave up here.

Me
WOW. that’s genius

Her
what?

Me
I WASN’T IN YOUR CLASS!!
HA HA HA HA
LOL
OMFG, ROTFLMAO

Her
you better be freaking kidding me pixel

Me
HA HA HA

Her
I am coming back in a month
and if you’ve been pulling my leg this whole time….you are going to be one sorry little boy

Me
:oD

Her
don’t freaking tell me you’ve been making me feel like crap for how long now? for no reason?
are you kidding me??

Me
No, no, there was always a reason.
It was very, very funny!
And, to a lesser extent, I was really in your class.

Her
Were you in my class or not you jerk?
which class?

Me
I was in your paradoxes class

Her
don’t confuse me! it isn’t fair!

Me
I made the other one up
ha ha
joke’s on you

Her
why aren’t you here so I can wring your neck?
okay…I deserved that I guess. for being self-absorbed or maybe just totally out of it in the paradoxes class?

Me
I don’t see why you don’t find it as hilarious as I do.
Yeah, the ancient history one was a lucky guess

Her
uh because I was beginning to think I was a bad friend and some freaking psycho weirdo for remembering everything but you from ancient.
Paradoxes is still a blur though. I don’t remember anyone in there. good for you you’re in another state or you’d be laughing as I strangled you
or trying to laugh anyway

Me
Ha hah

Her
Oy Pixel.
I can’t believe you did that

Me
I sense a blog post coming up

And I was right! Who knew?

Her
Pixel I was REALLY in my own world during most of high school. I probably wouldn’t remember half the people I met• actually I’ve had that happen to me. People who claim they know me from high school and I have NO IDEA who they are. well I’m getting sleepy and sleep is supposed to be good for memory, so I think I’ll turn in. Apparently I need to sleep for a few months straight. Maybe then my memories would come back

Me
Much luck

Her
sigh. shouldn’t you be sleeping. isn’t it like midnight over there?

Me
Yesh, I’ve sort of been waiting for you to shut up so I could go to sleep

Her
wait…don’t you sleep like 10 hours at a time? Maybe that’s why you have such a good memory. jerk. well hopefully we’re even now. You pulled a fast one on me and I totally fell for it

Me
ha ha

Her
I’ll buy you pizza sometime or something and make sure to write it down somewhere so I don’t forget

Me
I never forget food

Update: Apparently, if you’re owed a pizza, and you want the pizza, you shouldn’t post a transcript online, or else you won’t get said pizza, and end up owing a further pizza. *sigh*

About Pixel

Pixel Q. Styx refuses to talk about himself. If thou wishest, thou may infer from his blog what thou wishest.

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4 Responses to AIM Transcripts II: How to screw with a person’s sanity

  1. Alethea B says:

    I am starting to think you pulled a fast one on me…Nathan’s head is eerily shaped just like yours…hmm!

  2. Pixel says:

    I was going to wait until he turned 18, but MWA HA HA HA HA!!! I am the secret father of your child!!

    ZOMG, You’re so PWNED!! I can’t believe you fell for it!! HA HA! You should have seen the look on your face!!!

    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

  3. Moira says:

    Should I kill you now or later? 👿

  4. Ashley says:

    You are an evil, evil person.

Comments are closed.