We need new verb tenses, guys
- by Pixel
I had this idea a long time ago, wrote a draft, then let it sit until now. Now I stand it up because my friend Iris insists that English would be a terrible language in which to discuss time travel. Why?
“Because you have verb tenses. In China, we just have a verb and specify the time period independently. So instead of ‘I jumped,’ you would say ‘I – in past – jump.'”
I admit that Chinese has us by the short hairs on time travel clarity, but at least in English we can sing words that everybody understands the first time! ((This zinger makes much more sense if you realize that Chinese is a language in which much information is conveyed through tone of voice… more than the speaker’s mood or accent, of course. This, in turn, makes it very difficult to sing with any clarity, at least until you understand the context really well. So: Zing!))
In any case, I don’t want to learn another language when time travel becomes not only possible, but commonplace. I’ll just hope that we have new verb tenses for the various new situations that we encounter. Here are my suggestions:
As an example, I’ll use the word ‘engorge’
Who |
Recent Past to Distant Past |
Distant Past to Recent Past |
Past to Future |
Future to Past |
Near Future to Distant Future |
Distant Future to Near Future |
Anachronistic Self in Present |
Self in Anachronistic Present |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Me |
(-ud)
|
(-oud)
|
(-uds)
|
(-usd)
|
(-os)
|
(-ous)
|
(-ack!)
|
(-ang!)
|
| You |
(-yd)
|
(-eyd)
|
(-yds)
|
(-ysd)
|
(-es)
|
(-eys)
|
(-yck!)
|
(-yng!)
|
| Us |
(-uyd)
|
(-eud)
|
(-uds)
|
(-usd)
|
(-eos)
|
(-eus)
|
(-uyck)
|
(-uyng)
|
| Them |
(-yd)
|
(-eyd)
|
(-yds)
|
(-ysd)
|
(-es)
|
(-eys)
|
(-yck)
|
(-yng)
|
| Your mom |
Is so fat, |
every time |
she sits down |
she discovers |
the Higgs-Boson. |
She’s so fat, |
she could plug up |
a black hole. |
These are all going to sound stupid until they start getting used. So what are you waiting for?
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I had this idea a long time ago, wrote a draft, then let it sit until now. Now I stand it up because my friend Iris insists that English would be a terrible language in which to discuss time travel. Why? “Because you have verb tenses. In China, we just have a verb and specify…
only if it drinks your blood.
Heinlein took a crack at this once. He kind of got stuck with the, I-traveled-into-the-future-last-week tense. “I was/will be bowling with my unborn grandson.”
Personally, I think it sounds better in German. “Mein liferaft ist voll von Aalen” … wait … Stupid dictionary! It’s better to use a ball anyway.