Ind e-Pen XII(i)

The Ind e-Pen

+++vol+1++BT+12+++

Introduction:

===============

This week was chock-full of entertaining fun. Yep, being couped up in a car for 56 hours, seeing a tropical paradise, not getting any girls to flash me… you know, the usual. But enough introduction, I know what everyone wants: Hard-Core Pornicular Lesbian Action!!!

… unfortunately neither my roommate nor myself know what Pornicular is, so we’ll have to settle with some random trite moments of my life:

A Cinderella Moment

So there I was, walking back from Lunch one Sunday evening (still wearing my nail polish from the sex toy party the day before), when I saw a black fuzzy slipper in the hallway. Just lying there, as if it were making a run from whatever chump had decided to let it get away. I stared at it for several minutes, trying to think of something that my mind had hinted at, but hadn’t run on. Something familiar… something about a fairy tale. But then I thought: nah, there are no chumps in fuzzy slippers in fairy tales.

Not in the daytime at least. Maybe late at night, when all the beautiful princes and longing beauties are out clubbin’, maybe then the chumps come out. Or maybe the beautiful princes (note: they aren’t handsome princes. To be in a fairy tale, a guy has to be more dainty than the woman he wants to seduce) who don’t get the hot broads (that is to say bathing beauties) are the chumps. But now they wouldn’t very well have slippers, would they? Unless they were REALLY dainty. And in that case, I doubt that they would want even the most narcoleptic of beauties… if you catch my drift.

All of this ran through my mind for ten minutes before I realized that I had a perfect Cinderella moment going on. I could just pick up the slipper, get my trusted esquire, and go through all of the dorms in the village asking girls to try it on. Unfortunately, I don’t live in a village, girls don’t randomly try on slippers, and my esquire is on strike. Still, though. I did go around through all of the dormitories and asked every girl that answered whether or not the slipper was hers. I didn’t think, though, that if it were, and she had two evil steproommates, that she might not be able to speak up. In fact, I probably got her a beating by just coming around so close to her without saving her. Oh, well… There’s always next time.

Wow. I hadn’t thought about that. It’s hard to concentrate on things like that when you’re in a tropical island during spring break… but you wouldn’t be interested in that, now would you?

Going South

In this case, I’m not going to write about my insanely timed trip to South Padre Island, Texas. I’m not going to talk about me leaving at 3:30 in the morning (right when I was planning on going to sleep), I’m not going to talk about the 28 hour drive, the two days I spent there, and the 34 hour drive back. And I’m not EVEN going to mention the fact that everyone but me was flashed at some point during the trip. Here let me not mention that my good friend Jcak got to see not one, not two, but three separate beeb (the plural of boob, right?). Nope, not going to mention anything about that, or about the talking coconut, the drunk girls, the rickety bridge, and the lighthouse. I’m not going to touch on how the two other people that were with us either had a tampon in their butt (without noticing it) or met a girl, fell in love, said goodbye, and were heartbroken all within three hours.

None of that is even going to come up. Nor is the fact that I ditched a week of school and possibly ruined my registration status for next semester. I’m not going to discuss how I came back and everyone came up to me wondering just what drugs I was on. I will, however, discuss my date last night:

My Date Last Night
That’s right, I went out on a date. And not one of those sad, sympathy dates either. No, this was one of those “I won the girl at an aution” dates. Which is, I hear, how Harry met Sally.

The day I came home from my inadvertent trip to Texas, I went to a fundraising auction to bid on my friends. And I did. So we went on a date with the coupon that they provided us. Wow– I so thought that that story would take longer to tell. Oh, well.

One last thing:

Good Jorb Mickey DePalma with your well-timed e-mail. You win a free Pix Capacitor.

Last Week’s Question: Did Gabe even send out an e-mail?

Last Week’s Answer: Yep, on March 15th at 10:30 in the evening, approximately 4 and a half hours after the sunset. Very soon after the chariots in the sky started burning brightly against a velvet blanket.

This Week’s Question: How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

The Ind e-Pen +++vol+1++BT+12+++ Introduction: =============== This week was chock-full of entertaining fun. Yep, being couped up in a car for 56 hours, seeing a tropical paradise, not getting any girls to flash me… you know, the usual. But enough introduction, I know what everyone wants: Hard-Core Pornicular Lesbian Action!!! … unfortunately neither my roommate…