Crazy Search Engine Terms

1. Go to Google.com 2. Type: how to become a theologist 3. Click search. 4. Say: WTF? I’m also under: portales nm homicides. The things you learn from checking your statistics… Another thing: Top web addresses viewed before coming to…

Ha ha, Rob is being Tag Teamed!

Oh, dear. How did the creationists take over this topic? I didn’t think that there were that many of them. Wow. Should I go help out Rob or just stay out of it altogether? And how many of you people…

For the Statisticians Among You

Day Total Page Views * ( Unique Page Views** ) Sat 03/12 13 (13) Fri 03/11 20 (20) Thu 03/10 25 (25) Wed 03/09 22 (22) Tue 03/08 29 (29) Mon 03/07 16 (16) Sun 03/06 10 (10) Sat 03/05…

In MY Name? In MY NAME????

Some jerk submitted a response to my letter in the Round Up. Okay, that doesn’t make them a jerk. Using my name, however, does. I’m so p.o.ed I could repost their letter here and bold all the mispelled words, grammar…

Letter to the Editor 1

Yesterday, I came out in the rain to my car and saw a tell-tale yellow envelope under my windshield wiper. The incident brought Peter Finch’s famous Network speech back to mind: “First, you’ve gotta get mad. So, I want you…

Today’s Been a Day

I’ve been alternately p.o.’d and happy all day. And often concurrently. I was printed in the school paper (link missing, they’ve not yet updated the site, the slow-pokes). I released the Arts & Sciences Newsletter. I spent several hours writing…

Ode to Amelia

woman swimming on body of water

Amelia, Oh Amelia, you’re too young for me, as far as moody swimmers go. Although, just so you know, everytime you post, my heart beats like so. lucky am I, that I was able to meet– in a metaphorical sense,…

An Argument for Contraception

Some things people say that make me wish I had a Sterilizing Ray: “The biggest misconception of all times is that this country was founded under the basis of freedom. It most certainly was not. It was founded under God.”…

For the Love of Jim

Napoleon Dynamite is NOT DEAD. Shut up, don’t say he is. Don’t ask me about it. He’s fine. Jon Heder did NOT die in a car accident. I don’t know how this got started, but the people who passed it…

Flagellation

I’m a genius, people, it takes a lot of work to pull one over on me. Especially with unsound arguments. From now on, any time someone’s argument fails, I’ll take two karma points from them.

The Caring Jackass

The problem with being a caring jackass is that sometimes you care too much to make fun, yet you do it anyway. It’s sort of a self-effacing jackassiness. Sorry everyone. I don’t mean to do it, I just see opportunities…

Ode to Haley

Oh Haley, dear Haley. You 16-year old chick Sagittarius who is currently unemployed in the lucrative fashion field of Wenatchee, Washington!! I tried to be considerate, but I did Fail-ee, So now I’m writing a poem to express my utmost…

Gabe, the Know-It-All

Dear Readers, Boy is life ever difficult for your learned best beaver friend Gabie. I’ve been reading the encyclopedia for about a month now and boy, are humans ever dull! Nothing but sex, violence, and immorality. I feel like I’m…

Going…

I’m leaving the country to dispose of some “evidence” now. I’ll be back Tuesday if I’m back at all. I don’t mean to worry you, but WE’RE ALL IN MORTAL DANGER!!!! So… see if you can get along without me.…

The Challenge

“i’m a republican. (i think) im for the tax cuts.” Okay. Let’s analyze that: From the Christian Science Monitor: “Budgets are moral documents, providing a framework for laying out priorities and values,” says Yonce Shelton, public policy director for Call…

Bored

Yup. Today is a slow Me news day. These kinds of days do happen, we kid you not. So no major posts except for me whining about how I’m such a jerk to my mom without meaning to be sometimes.…