I’m Afraid of Americans
- by Pixel
I hate Americans.
I never realized how annoying they were until I left the country, but Americans are really annoying and chock full of themselves.
Take a look of what an actual American has said, read it out loud if you don’t believe me:
Aussie: Where’re you from?
Pixel: New Mexico
Aussie: Where??
Pixel: It’s in the United States.
Aussie: You’re an American?
Pixel: Yes, and sure, you don’t have to even ask. Of course I’ll sign an autograph.
It’s not only that, it’s that they’re ridiculously loud in large groups and are arrestingly (*rimshot*) belligerent when they’re drunk.
Last night, after my rooommate and I came back from a Harbor Cruise out in Circular Quay (Pronounced: Cir-CUE-lar KEE), we heard an American by the name of Sean Kelleher (Gloucesterman, in case you’re from the East Coast) banging on the door yelling obscenities at someone we can only guess wasn’t even there.
Then he hopped over a small wall, tried pulling open a glass door (that was locked), and when it wouldn’t open, thinking that someone was holding it shut, he punched his fist through the glass.
There was blood everywhere.
My roommate and I, along with several other people nearby, ran down, tried to stop the bleeding, called the RT (Residential Tutor), called the police, and called the ambulance. Unfortunately, Sean was still belligerent and kept waving around his (still bleeding) arms. He wouldn’t even calm down enough to get on the stretcher so several dozen police officers had to restrain him.
In a country 16 days and already he’s kicked out of his apartment, expelled from the school, in the hospital, soon to be arrested, and soon to be kicked out of the country. Permenantly.
So yes, I hate Americans, they give us primates a bad name.
Update: Sean wasn’t deported, arrested, or even expelled from school. They decided to give him another chance based on the fact that he wasn’t such a jerk when he wasn’t drunk. Personally, I couldn’t care less. He wasn’t exactly very nice while I wrote down his parent’s contact information.
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I hate Americans. I never realized how annoying they were until I left the country, but Americans are really annoying and chock full of themselves. Take a look of what an actual American has said, read it out loud if you don’t believe me: Aussie: Where’re you from? Pixel: New Mexico Aussie: Where?? Pixel: It’s…
Heh, stupid Americans.
Hey, I went on a harbor cruise of CQ. They served coffee and biscuits. And my dad and I played poker using the inordinate amount of candy I bough earlier (in the Queen Victoria Building) as chips.
Yep.
Hmmm. Sean might have gotten a mental picture of what Aussies are like from those Paul Hogan movies and thought that they would appreciate that shit. Also sounds like no one told him not to mix alcohol and PCP. Either way, he’s an idiot first and a Yankee second. Do we have to take him back? Maybe we could claim the Aussies damaged him and refuse to let them return him 😉