Month: September 2005

snarkage: Here’s a concept I’d like to see more of: Nerd Hecklers. Imagine a motivational speaker going to a Uni and having nerds shout out random (or stastically inconsequential) comments like, “Your mom and I did the 1000101!” or “The question to life, the universe, and everything is how many times over does your speech…

Wow. They finally reached Cooper’s Creek on April 21, only to find the camp abandoned. There was a message cut into a tree “DIG 3 FEET N.W.”. They did so, and found some supplies, and a letter explaining that the party had given up waiting, and had left only that morning. Burke’s team had missed…

Am I the only one that gets radical enjoyment out of going through my archives? I mean, I’ve written some pretty radical stuff. Never mind that the things I seem to prefer are always the things that get 0 to 1 comments. It’s all y’all’s fault not mine. I’m objectively funny.Okay, so it turns out…

Damn it. Sometimes I wish people would start rumours about my sexual orientation.When I first started college, my friends and I would always hang out together and poke fun at each other. Two of the common staples involved the hidden gayness of every guy and the promiscuity of all of our collective mothers. I, being…

I couldn’t help but overhear that you wanted to add some humour to your wonderful publication. Look no more! I, Gabe the advice-giving Beaver am here to help. Perhaps you’ve seen my work in Panther Tracks, Carver’s BT, the Pix Capacitor, or (soon) the Round Up. I am the beaver, not the deceiver, who’s so…

Tao of Gabe Gabe the Rhetorical Beaver here with a lesson in ‘Ninja Speak.’ The idea of ninja speak is to leave your opponent rubbing his proverbial bum from a verbal shellacking that he is reasonably sure came from your direction, but can’t quite prove. It’s the most disheartening of the passive-aggressive oratory arts and…