The Problem of Identity is not itself anymore
- by Pixel
Okay, fine! I admit it, I’m not Pixel Q. Styx. I am an impostor! The real Pixel lost use of his facial hair in the Battle of Valmy.
I was his best friend throughout the war because he always had some chewing gum with him. He kept telling me these long and rambling stories about events that probably never happened when he told me that he was never going back home.
I thought about it and realized it was a pretty cool concept, so I decided never to go home myself. But then, because I couldn’t think of anywhere else to go, I decided to go to his home. After all, nobody was there and once two drunken Frenchmen who’d never met him were somehow convinced that I was him.
When I came back, I fooled everybody by going off on wild tangents about how I’d been at the Battle of Valmy and gotten rid of my chewing gum habit. They all loved it and I loved them loving it.
That’s why I pretended to be him. That and to steal his land and all that comes with it.
It turns out that “his land and all that comes with it” is just this website.
*sigh* I got forked. Even Arnaud du Tilh ended up better off than I.
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Okay, fine! I admit it, I’m not Pixel Q. Styx. I am an impostor! The real Pixel lost use of his facial hair in the Battle of Valmy. I was his best friend throughout the war because he always had some chewing gum with him. He kept telling me these long and rambling stories about…