Bootcamp for journalists
- by Pixel
Welcome to Clovis.
In the 90 days we spend together, you will deal with incompetent overconfidence, inadequate computers and programs, miscommunication, discommunication, and remiscommunication all of which will be someone else’s fault, but you will still have to clean up after them.
People will not explain what they want —or explain it in the abstract or in specifics about something unrelated and expect you to apply it without coaching— and want what they don’t explain. They’ll say “it’s my fault,” but you’ll notice that the words “I’m sorry” are never heard… anywhere. Unless you mistakenly say them.
Watch as you design a section, they delete an entire page, you redesign the section, then you design another section, they add an entire page of content, you redesign the section, they add another half a page of content, you redesign the section, they take away a half a page of content, you redesign it and leave frustrated. You come back ten minutes later with them sitting on your computer, forcing everything to fit then saying, “oh, yeah, I undid all of your formatting, so you’re going to have to redo that.”
Watch as they tell you your shirts are too risqué for the newspaper business (especially if they contradict the company’s political viewpoint by saying “Fascism Sucks”), see them take away your weekends, schedule you for 45 hours but only allow you to clock 40, take away all music, headphones, and non-work related conversations.
Watch as we try to twist you into doing other people’s work because you can do it better than most, and deal with us as our sabotaging of your work means you have to take it because we’re boss.
This is bootcamp for journalists. If you don’t slice your wrists with a spoon by the time this is over, consider yourself trained.
Related posts:
- Adding Humor to Lachlan I couldn’t help but overhear that you wanted to add some humour to your wonderful publication. Look no more! I, Gabe the advice-giving Beaver am here to help. Perhaps you’ve seen my work in Panther...
- Hovering makes Spanish fun! Damn, I love my mom, Hola Chaparrito, Es muy triste cuando nos pasa eso. A mi una vez se me perdio el disquete y tuve que hacer todo el trabajo de nuevo. Otra vez trabaje...
- I own this place I might as well live in the newsroom. I spend more time here than humanly possible and have as much, if not more, knowledge– in my two and a half weeks on the job– of...
Powered by YARPP.
Welcome to Clovis. In the 90 days we spend together, you will deal with incompetent overconfidence, inadequate computers and programs, miscommunication, discommunication, and remiscommunication all of which will be someone else’s fault, but you will still have to clean up after them. People will not explain what they want —or explain it in the abstract…
Our publisher reduced the paper’s web width by half an inch, which means we must reformat all our ads. We’re switching to PCs and InDesign next year, so we’ll have to recreate all the pre-designed elements (masthead, page titles, etc.). Fortunately, the publisher is almost finished building its new press, with which we could print color on any page rather than just the front and back of each section. Unfortunately, I’m leaving the paper in a week.
Damn this three-year middle school.
Jeez, those people never let up, do they?