How to ruin a first date
- by Pixel
My friend Alethea and I were trying to come up with things an otherwise attractive person could say or do to completely make them undateable. Let’s watch:
- Can we wrap this up soon? My mom wants me home by eight.
- Do you mind if my ex-wife comes to dinner with us? She wants to approve everyone I date.
- Sorry I keep going to the restroom, I have explosive diarrhea… it’s chronic.
- I like to go to parks and watch children playing. They’re so excited that it’s relaxing to me… relaxing and exotic.
- I only date chicks that do anal.
- Yes, we’ll have the merlot– wait, do you put out on the first date? No, I didn’t think so. No, we’ll just have water then.
- I made the reservations in your name because I didn’t want them to spit in our food after the scene I made here last time.
- Wow, I must really like you: my HerpeAIDS is flaring up more than usual.
- I’m not unemployed because I’m an ex-con, I’m unemployed because I don’t mind being on welfare.
- So… how do you feel about polygamy?
- You wanna go out again? This is really going to make my wife jealous.
Related posts:
- And….. Scene! Going to the Vans Warped Tour: +5 scene points Buying ticket ahead of time: -1 scene point Getting there on time to late: +1 scene point Running like a pansy to the arena: -2 scene...
- About The Blog A Pixelated Mind is a bit of everything you like to read. We work hard to provide a mixture of thoughts, ideas, concepts, information, insight, and humor into your life. While there is...
- Uncle Pixel My brother knocked up his wife. I’m going to be an uncle. Again. (oh, wait, was that a family secret? Damn! I’m really bad about keeping those..)...
Powered by YARPP.
My friend Alethea and I were trying to come up with things an otherwise attractive person could say or do to completely make them undateable. Let’s watch: Can we wrap this up soon? My mom wants me home by eight. Do you mind if my ex-wife comes to dinner with us? She wants to approve…
Hmm…I think I’ve said one of these to a date…can you guess which one? π
Jeesh, no wonder I’m still single. π
I’m guessing you’ve done numbers 5, 6, 7 and 8.
Oh, wait, I didn’t number them… π