Things that are sketchy and things that are not
(Hey guys: I’m trying to come back slowly into the Internet. Here’s something silly.)
I was just asked for money in a parking lot outside of a Burger King. The man, ‘Jared,’ wanted $5 to ‘call his mom.’ I slowly shifted into reverse, rolled up my window, and idled out of there. I drove around the restaurant three times before I left. I figured: might as well out-sketch the sketchy dude. ((This is a lie, but you don’t know any better. I only drove around once, and that was to order from the drive-thru. But when I left, I came up with so many things I could have done or said that would have been cool. For instance: “I couldn’t give you money even if I believed you.”))
But what is sketch? I don’t know. I couldn’t define it if I wanted to. But I can think of a bunch of things that are. Any what better way than to learn by analogy, right?
- One guy standing under a street lamp – sketchy
- A man and a woman standing under a street lamp – not sketchy (unless she is not dressed appropriately)
- Three college-aged walking in the night in the middle of the road, stumbling – not yet sketch
- Three guys walking in the night in the middle of the road – very sketch
- Anyone wearing prescription glasses at any time of day – not sketch
- Cory Hart wearing his sunglasses at night – sketch
- Police blocking off an otherwise innocuous stretch of road, waving people into a detour through the bad side of town – sketch
- A car following you at night with its lights off – sketch
- An ambulance following you at night with its lights off – just plain weird. But also a bit sketch
- Back streets with few or no street lamps – sketch
- Alleys that smell like urine – sketch
- People in old, dirty clothes that smell like urine – sketch
- Drawings that are done quickly, usually with a pencil – sketch
Very well. That’s the list of everything I could think of. Hope it helps later when you’re alone and wondering of things are sketch or not.
(Hey guys: I’m trying to come back slowly into the Internet. Here’s something silly.) I was just asked for money in a parking lot outside of a Burger King. The man, ‘Jared,’ wanted $5 to ‘call his mom.’ I slowly shifted into reverse, rolled up my window, and idled out of there. I drove around…
1. Someone scratching their ‘pants’ region, then smelling their finger – Sketchy
2. Someone scratching someone else’s ‘pants’ region, then smelling their finger – Very Sketchy
3. Someone scratching their ‘pants’ region, then holding their finger up to someone else’s nose so they smell it – Guards, sieze him.
4. A woman wearing pants walking down the street – Not Sketchy
5. A man wearing a skirt walking down the street – Not Sketchy
6. A man wearing a woman walking down the street – Far beyond Sketchy. Alarm bells
7. Couples with a small age difference – Not Sketchy
8. Couples with a large age difference – Sketchy
9. Couples with an illegal age difference – VERY VERY SKETCHY.
I am all for this coming back to the internet business. Your absence has been unacceptable.