Goodie Grab Bag XII
We brought you to this bar to have an intervention. Man, I’m so rich, I use $100 bills for toilet paper. And I use toilet paper for something equally frivolous: like currency. Sorry, I have to go. My pedicurist is…
Pixel
Pixel Q. refuses to talk about himself. If thou wishest, thou may infer from his blog what thou wishest.
Debates between theists and atheists always favor atheists
Richard Dawkins refuses to debate Creationists. He says that the reason for this is advice from Stephen Jay Gould (himself famous for the “Darwin Wars” debates). Gould said that, whatever the outcome, Creationists would win, because the very fact that…
Oh, and by the way
Never do a favor for your friends that requires you to sign anything or use a credit card. In fact, never expose yourself monetarily for anybody if you can help it. (Warning: I just gave you the moral of the…
The Good Samaritan is Amoral
As you might or might not know, I (the real me, not the me that I make up to seem cool) am applying to graduate school this year. I’m hoping to be Dr. Pixelation Qyw Styx III within five years……
The Ultimate Guy Movie
Tek “Danger” McRiggs is a photographer of beautiful women by day, a football legend by midafternoon, a superhero by dusk, a spy-detective-cop by night and a porn star by morning. One day, a team of government-trained ninja pirates shows up…
Dollar smiles
I like to see people happy. I also like saving money. I don’t readily donate to charity because I’m poor, but every once in a while I like doing something nice for people that could use the money. I usually…
Right answers to impossible questions
Have you noticed I lost weight? Incorrect answer: No, you still bent the light around you. If you have lost weight (and the gravity hasn’t lessened), then obviously you haven’t lost enough. Correct answer: I noticed you looked slightly more…
How did you enjoy the play, Mrs. Lincoln?
Least sensitive things ever said: Ooh, look, they have some early morning fireworks over by the World Trade Center! How was it living on beach-front property for 14 years, Mr. Dantes? Oh, it was terrible! You don’t know what it’s…
I was born an iTheist
I’ve heard it argued in various circles that children are born without a belief in God, which technically makes them atheists. Richard Dawkins argues something of the sort. Others disagree. The Catholic church, for example, registers every baptized child as…
P: P exists
In rereading an essay I wrote several years ago for my paradoxes class, I noticed that I was marked off for assuming that the universe existed. “A universe is a necessary being?!!” My teacher said. Allow me to defend my…