Intelligence from me to you from me

My grand-uncle has a saying: “Cuando encuentres tu pendejo, ¡no lo sueltes!” which translates, roughly, to “once you find your idiot, never let him go”
My regular uncle has another saying: “Cada quien escoge sus chingaderas.” which translates, smoothly, to “everyone chooses their own fuck-ups”
“people change when they’re backed into a corner”
“women are like monkeys, they don’t let go of one branch until they grab onto the next.”

I, fortunately, have lots of sayings:

• Never trust a man that leaves you with a paradox.
• If they can’t understand you, what chance do you have?
• Sometimes you act, sometimes you react. Guess which one gets you in less trouble.
• To be Great, disguise and Regurgitate!
• To live without duties: obscene? Maybe. But to live with them strangles all thought.
• Have you ever marveled that the only reason you’re still alive is habit and because of your duties? That’s not right…
• Beware of acts bred from your own ignorance
• Ignorance kills indiscrimenantly.
• The difference between ignorance and stupidity is in a fool’s mind.
• Just below is no different from just above, but a successful state must draw the line.
• ‘Tis the weak that claim equality.
• Short & Neat is Remembered Sweet.
  Add Rhyme and Twice the Time.
• Brave fools rebel when they are right.
  Wise men rebel only when backed by fools.
• Ironically, most squares are well-rounded.
• Did I dream this, or did it dream me?
• It is great fun to do stupid little things, little fun to do stupid great things.
• Beware what you preach, for they just might listen.
• I am not the first one to say this, and you are not the first one to do that.
• In a society of rebels, to rebel is to conform.
• Is conformity really that bad? Yes, but if you get there through your own devices, not relying on society, then you are a true human.
• This makes no sense, but it will go down in the ages.
• Surround yourself by those whom you outshine, never be “Jack’s friend”
• Et Domini Klerosis [ignorance is easily fooled]
• Jen Min Mi [Gullibility can be taken advantage of]
• Question the book.
• You cannot possibly be as funny as you think you are.
• Dewey was an asshole.
• Karma is too sloppy and too slow.
• And what do we get for being nice? We get screwed over once and screwed over twice.
• “Reasonable dream” is an oxymoron if I’ve ever heard one.
• Try not to jibe much, no one can dodge every shot.
• “Anything can sound like a good quote if you look at it long enough.”
• The quest for originality… how cliché
• Oscar Wilde had no role model, I want to grow up to be just like him.
• I’d buy those socks that are like gloves, but… I just don’t have the figure for it.
• Pretend you’re reading this.
• Life goes.
  Catch up.
• Oh, will classic wonders never cease and die?
• A fool is only as good as his best quote.
• Any first impressions you may have taken from our encounter are probably close enough for all practical purposes, but shockingly inaccurate for any qualitative analysis
• To a recently estranged acquaintance– “My dear. I’m sorry things turned out how they did. But if it makes you feel any better, without a doubt, the years that we spent together are amongst the most recent I have ever had.”
• Nice People Have No Enemies
• The further along you get in life, the fewer wholesome people you meet.
• Humans never learn.

My grand-uncle has a saying: “Cuando encuentres tu pendejo, ¡no lo sueltes!” which translates, roughly, to “once you find your idiot, never let him go” My regular uncle has another saying: “Cada quien escoge sus chingaderas.” which translates, smoothly, to “everyone chooses their own fuck-ups” “people change when they’re backed into a corner” “women are…