Tao of Gabe: On Love Analogies
Tao of Gabe
I’m Gabe the Fantastic Beaver and I’m in love. If you have never been in love, it is a strange feeling that I can’t really describe to you but with a series of increasingly terrible metaphors, similes, and analogies.
Love is like oxygen: it’s really a poison, but we need it to live. And if you have too much fire, it is consumed that much more quickly… also it corrodes apples and iron.
Or perhaps love is more like a credit card: you can get what you want now, but the things that you do stay with you far beyond the life of the actual credit card.
Love is like a camera: it captures the moment, but you have to pay to develop it… Unless it’s digital, in which case you can see the moment while you take it and perhaps decide you want to delete it from your memory so as to make room for more moments.
Love is like a fine wine: the deeper the red or whiter the white, the younger it is. Some keeps, some doesn’t, but if you stick a cork in it and lay it on its side for a few years, when you do bring it out, it will be that much more special.
Love is like a terrible analogy: people will scratch their head or laugh at the randomness but if there’s nothing to ‘get’ then even those that ‘get’ it won’t ‘get it’. Get it?
Love is like a VCR: it takes forever to program it, but once you do, you don’t need to touch it again until Daylight Saving Time… or the power goes out.
Love is like a phone: if it’s off the hook, nobody can reach you.
No, wait.
Love is like a phone: it connects you with a person… unless they’re busy, in which case you can connect with another person or try again later.
Love is like a poltergeist. If you’ve experienced it, no matter what anybody else says, nobody can convince you otherwise. It moves you and everything around you. And, if you’re not ready for it, you might be afraid at first and try to run away.
Actually, that last one was pretty good. I’ll stop there. Then, I’m going to content myself with knowing that you’re going to walk around all day thinking about what love is like and trying to come up with a better analogy than me. Luckily, better is relative.
And I have no relatives.
Except for my mom and my cousin Dave.
…But even though he’s an author, he’s not much better than me.
Besides, he’s only written two books: So you’ve ruined your life and its hit sequel, Baby’s first Pop-up.
Love is.
Love is a closing,
Gabe D. Beaver
“Remember Kids: Love lifts us up where we belong… Now look at where you’re standing and think about that for a bit. (Psst! You’re still on the ground.)”
Related posts:
- Tao of Gabe: On Identity Gabe the Didactic Beaver here with a tale of mystery, insight, and intrigue that will randomly switch into a “your collective mother” joke without notice. I’ve been having a problem of identity recently. See, I...
- Tao of Gabe: On the Grammatics of Love Addiction Tao of Gabe Gabe the Emancipated Beaver here with a recently expired poetic license. So any metaphor I use will be as illegal as your hairstyle should be. That was a simile. Don’t worry, I’m...
- Tao of Gabe: On History Tao of Gabe Gabe the Benevolent Beaver here worried about his place in the history books. I worry about what is going to survive me when I can no longer the job myself. More than...
Powered by YARPP.
Tao of Gabe I’m Gabe the Fantastic Beaver and I’m in love. If you have never been in love, it is a strange feeling that I can’t really describe to you but with a series of increasingly terrible metaphors, similes, and analogies. Love is like oxygen: it’s really a poison, but we need it to…