Remember that time…

I enjoy saying sentences that contain entire stories within so as to entice people into asking about them… then refusing to say anything. Often times people become angry, but this also works when people know the story I’m referring to and they laugh along. This is similar to my belief that sometimes punchlines make better jokes than the jokes themselves.

For instance:

• Remember that time I showed up for those classes for an entire semester?
• Or how about when my head was accidentally shaved by a pathologically lying, blond lesbian?
• This one time my mate Frank and I showed up to a random Astronomy class, took the test, and scored higher than anyone else in the class.
• Say, how about that time I had to be rushed to the hospital and my friends stopped to make a pizza instead of driving me there?
• And what about the time I drove 3,500 kilometers across the country by myself… in one go… and I did it four times?
• The middle two were from Pennsylvania to Texas and were decided on a 2:00 a.m. whim, weren’t they?
• And it was the Saturday right before that where you dressed up as a woman to sneak into a Sex Toy party and realized that men were obsolete.
• What about that time you kissed your lesbian best friend?
• Speaking of which, remember when you asked out a girl during a Gay Rights rally?
• Or when you became your mate’s archnemesis and didn’t set him up with the love of his life, despite the fact that you were the only one that knew how they felt about each other?
• Then when you accidentally broke into this same friend’s house in the middle of the night, cut your wrists, and had to be rushed to a hospital in a car that was blind, slow, couldn’t stop, and was one spark away from blowing up..
• Or when your mates broke into your old campus to paint the Black Panther that was prominently displayed in front of campus pink?
• What about when you dressed up as Santa Claus for the last day of school your freshman year of high school?
• Or when you were suspended two days after Columbine for… nah, you wouldn’t be interested…
• Then there was a bomb threat the one day you were suspended?
• Or when you and your mates had that hotel room and you accidentally destroyed three lamps, a bed, poked four holes in the walls and one in the roof, stole pizza from the school bus, threw a party in your friend’s room, covered as your friends snuck out to see their girlfriends, and then broke into the mini-fridge?
• What about the time you walked 30 miles in the desert, wearing all black, to get to a girl’s house only to find her dad waiting for you when you arrived?
• Or when your mate stole the fire truck?
• How about the night you kept your friend Jack awake for over 48 hours through a Harry Potter book party and a drive to Albuquerque only to leave him alone in an apartment while you went out with your friends– and then he couldn’t sleep?
• Or going on exchange across the planet on a whim?

there’s going to be more. Count on that.

I enjoy saying sentences that contain entire stories within so as to entice people into asking about them… then refusing to say anything. Often times people become angry, but this also works when people know the story I’m referring to and they laugh along. This is similar to my belief that sometimes punchlines make better…