Oh, and by the way
Never do a favor for your friends that requires you to sign anything or use a credit card. In fact, never expose yourself monetarily for anybody if you can help it. (Warning: I just gave you the moral of the…
The Good Samaritan is Amoral
As you might or might not know, I (the real me, not the me that I make up to seem cool) am applying to graduate school this year. I’m hoping to be Dr. Pixelation Qyw Styx III within five years……
The Ultimate Guy Movie
Tek “Danger” McRiggs is a photographer of beautiful women by day, a football legend by midafternoon, a superhero by dusk, a spy-detective-cop by night and a porn star by morning. One day, a team of government-trained ninja pirates shows up…
Dollar smiles
I like to see people happy. I also like saving money. I don’t readily donate to charity because I’m poor, but every once in a while I like doing something nice for people that could use the money. I usually…
Right answers to impossible questions
Have you noticed I lost weight? Incorrect answer: No, you still bent the light around you. If you have lost weight (and the gravity hasn’t lessened), then obviously you haven’t lost enough. Correct answer: I noticed you looked slightly more…
How did you enjoy the play, Mrs. Lincoln?
Least sensitive things ever said: Ooh, look, they have some early morning fireworks over by the World Trade Center! How was it living on beach-front property for 14 years, Mr. Dantes? Oh, it was terrible! You don’t know what it’s…
I was born an iTheist
I’ve heard it argued in various circles that children are born without a belief in God, which technically makes them atheists. Richard Dawkins argues something of the sort. Others disagree. The Catholic church, for example, registers every baptized child as…
P: P exists
In rereading an essay I wrote several years ago for my paradoxes class, I noticed that I was marked off for assuming that the universe existed. “A universe is a necessary being?!!” My teacher said. Allow me to defend my…
Pavlov had too much time on his hands
Apparently, it’s hard to classically condition people. For a while now I’ve been trying to condition people to check my blog regularly like malnourished orphans hoping that the lady who runs the bread line will get over her hangover soon.…
I think it was a wrong number
Overheard phone conversation: 1: Hello. 1: Hello. 1: This is he. 1: Hello. 1: I think the best bet would be to take care of this tomorrow when everyone’s available. 1: Oh. 1: I’m free at 5. 1: I’ll see…
“In life, everything comes back to you”
How karma should be practiced: be nice to strangers, respect life, do not cause harm, all else being equal, choose the path which generates the greatest good for the greatest number. How karma should not be practiced: To ease your…
“En la vida todo te regresa”
Karma is a good philosophy to live by. I say that because I think that a society in which everyone believes in karma is more likely to be nicer, easier and happier than a society which believes in the opposite.…