Do I owe Arty Nielsen more than I owe Stevey Carell?

70. I tricked my parents into getting me a cell phone senior year by pretending to not want one while giving them reasons I should have one. Then, the day after I got it, I accidentally left it inside an ice chest where it promptly short circuited. I had to take it apart, dry, and charge it before it would work again. I sort of miss that phone now.

My mother was selected to fill out a Nielsen diary for the Nielsen TV Ratings. She actually confessed to me that she was going to refuse it when they asked her, but then she heard my hypothetical psychic screams and accepted

I feel like a Superdelegate only instead of being bitten by a radioactive delegate, I received a Gamma Ray boom from my old TV set.

But if Peter Parker’s uncle Ben has taught us anything, it’s that with great power comes great responsibility.

So the question is: what’s my responsibility:

a) Not change my viewing habits at all in order to be ‘honorable’ and give them ‘accurate’ results that they will then warp to keep the most ‘popular’ shows on.

Benefits: I help keep my mom’s word. I help Arty Nielsen with his goals, which, admittedly, I don’t care about.

Drawbacks: American Idol stays on air, but Flight of the Conchords does not.

b) Change them in order to ‘over represent’ shows I find of higher quality either with the goal of helping them stay on the air or with the assumption that many other people are willing to do the same thing.

Benefits: I use my powers for the ends, not these lame-ass means. Also, I help out quality television and balance out the rest of the medium’s lame-ass lineup.

Drawbacks: I don’t follow some weird guy’s idea of what’s important. I break someone else’s word (she won’t care). Possibly some other stuff.

What have I decided to do?

I don’t know, I’m thinking Taco Bell for dinner.

70. I tricked my parents into getting me a cell phone senior year by pretending to not want one while giving them reasons I should have one. Then, the day after I got it, I accidentally left it inside an ice chest where it promptly short circuited. I had to take it apart, dry, and…

2 Comments

  1. I got the offer to do the Nielsen thing a few years ago. I don’t watch TV. Funny, they never asked me again, after saying, “Come on. You don’t even watch the news? You don’t even HAVE television service? But what if you put an antenna up?” I DO get a different on yearly on my radio station usage though!

  2. My family’s an actual Neilsen family with a box and everything. In the beginning, I’d fudge a bit on the shopws I loved (see: 30 Rock) but then later I got lazy and it stopped. If you’re only doing the diary I say you do your part to keep quality tv on the air!