33) I don’t believe in love: I don’t even believe in tolerance.
I don’t believe in love: I don’t even believe in tolerance.
Experimental Philosophy
This is what I’ve been doing for the past three months. It started when I uploaded a cartoon of myself as my profile picture on Facebook and instantly got a lot of requests for similar images. This guy, who I…
19) Here’s a prank: take the nicotine and caffeine out of someone’s cigarettes and coffee.
Here’s a prank: take the nicotine and caffeine out of someone’s cigarettes and coffee. Now have them baby-sit a colicky baby. Hilarious.
18) The trip was nice, I took advantage of the first six hours to sit and stare straight ahead.
The trip was nice, I took advantage of the first six hours to sit and stare straight ahead. Then, I looked down and to the left somewhat
17) My moral compass doesn’t point to True North.
My moral compass doesn’t point to True North. It just points forward.
On the Catwalk
This is what I’ve been doing over the past week. It was a favor for a friend. She wanted me to charge her, but the moment my internal anger clock passed $100, I decided it would be better for our…
16) “I love you too” in Guy means “I really don’t want this to turn into an argument right now.
“I love you, too” in Guy means “I really don’t want this to turn into an argument right now.”
13) I want to be a jerk.
I want to be a jerk. You always see the jerks with girls they don’t deserve. I want a girl I don’t deserve. I think I’ve earned it.
8) Would you like the soul and body of Christ? “No, thanks, I had some Buddha earlier.
Would you like the soul and body of Christ? “No, thanks, I had some Buddha earlier.”
Why it is okay to panic
Everyone gets the flu. Influenza sucks and then you get over it. Or you don’t. Lots of people die of it every year. So why the panic? Well the obvious reasons are that it’s a new strain for which we…
C: I’m depressed because I’m wasting my youth: I’ll never be 25 again.
C: I’m depressed because I’m wasting my youth: I’ll never be 25 again. D: But you’re not 25 now! C: Oh, yeah, I guess I will be 25 again..
I know I have no deadlines right now, but I’m still being very productive.
I know I have no deadlines right now, but I’m still being very productive. #oppositeday
Pregret
I thought I’d invented this word. Oh, well. Have you ever been writing an answer on a test and you’re fairly certain it’s wrong, but you write it anyway because the alternative answer sounds even more wrong? That happened to…