Ind e-Pen VII

The Ind e-Pen
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Introduction:
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You know why I love VD? Because of the way it makes people act. It makes them so happy… except for the ones that just get bitter. But VD is upon us. That’s right, Valentine’s Day is here. And whether you have a valentine or claim to be against the holiday on principle, you’ve at least got to admit that it’s on a saturday this year and as such I have to comment on it. Well sucks to that. I don’t feel like it. I’m surrounded by hearts and flowers and cards and every shade of red available in the lower 48 states. Plus, I just had an entire conversation with a packet of single-tracked conversation hearts– which is blatant false advertisement! They don’t leave you Any lee-way into conversing– but enough about VD, I’m not talking about it right now. Now I’m talking about…

…FRIENDS

When last we left them, Phoebe was getting married to a guy I didn’t know, but who seemed to be rather important to the later episodes. What’s the deal with Friends, you ask? Well, it’s simple. According to Smarter Child, a Friend is “a member of the Society of Friends; a Quaker.” Which is why I thought it was strange that Phoebe was getting married to this guy. I mean, he was quite obviously a Lutheran.
But I wouldn’t know, I was too busy to catch most of the last six seasons. I mean, with puberty and gym class, girls and bullies, and pubescent girl bullies in gym class, I just didn’t have the time. So I decided to find out just how the series had gone. First I had to see the first season (because, it turns out that I was watching Muppet Babies for most of the first and second seasons– this isn’t as sad as it seems. I was only 16 at the time). So I went to Wally World (Wal-Mart to the layman) and found the entire first season of “Friends” for only $30. I was quite happy with my purchase.
Then I realized that it wasn’t enough to have the DVDs, I had to watch them to find out what I needed to know about the series. How’s that for a plot twist?
So I’ve been putting off work, ignoring Snood, and kicking my friends recently. Not so that I could have time to watch Friends, just because I’m an ass.
As for the Friends DVD, I finished watching the last four hours on Friday night. I didn’t find out anything about why Phoebe married a Lutheran, but I think I’m getting closer to finding out who the father of Rachel’s baby is.

V-D
First, I was happy that VD was coming. Then I was ticked, sad, mad, and irritated. Now I’m both. You know, I’ve always said that everybody should just ignore Valentine’s Day altogether, but does anyone ever listen? Nooooooo… You know, people have died from not following my advice– not as many as have died from following it, but still.
I did have a Valentine this year, and I was quite happy, then she left– on Thursday– to go spend the weekend with her ex-boyfriend. Whatever.
But whether you’re the one that’s in love or the one who’s messing with the one who is in love, there are still dozens of ways of having fun on Valentine’s Day. Do what I do.
Pick someone and go out of your way to depress them. It can’t be just anyone, though. It has to be the right person. You can’t make depressed people sadder, that’s just too easy. It also can’t be a happy person, because that’s just wrong.
I recommend depressing someone who’s in love, because while it may be wrong, it’s still funny. Especially when they start talking to their loved one and are completely happy– then you slowly start depressing them. I recommend playing sad music constantly while they’re Instant Messaging each other over the internet– It’s what I do to my roommate. 🙂

“Coming Soon” Studies of the Roommate Psyche…

One last thing:
This week was another one of those trick weeks, where I mailed everyone who responded (with the possible exception of any people in the Philippines) a free Pix Capacitor. I wouldn’t have done it if it weren’t for the fact that nobody read my mind and answered the exact right answers. In any case, congrats to Jcak Nagel (yeah, that’s how you spell it) and David I! Montes. Also, Miranda Bruner, but she doesn’t get anything because I’m boycotting her country.

Last Week’s Question: Is this a rhetorical question?
Correct Answer #1: No.
Correct Answer #2: …

This Week’s Question: Which president of the United States was in office for the least amount of time? Why?

The Ind e-Pen +++vol+1++BT+7+++ Introduction: =============== You know why I love VD? Because of the way it makes people act. It makes them so happy… except for the ones that just get bitter. But VD is upon us. That’s right, Valentine’s Day is here. And whether you have a valentine or claim to be against…