Ind e-Pen XXXVI

The Ind e-Pen
+++vol+1+++BT+36+++

Introduction
================

For a nice change of pace, I have decided to make this week’s e-mail as emo and livejournally as possible. I don’t know why, but I figure if people care about what I think (which is still debatable), then they’d care about what I feel… I think. Anyway, here goes:

June 29, 1997, 10:59 PM

Everything is so sad. Just the other day, right after I bought this lottery ticket for a friend, then I saw a little kid not tie his shoe correctly, so I weeped into the ticket, effectively ruining it. But it turns out that the ticket would have won $25,000 and my friend thinks I’m holding out on him (which I am, but not monetarily).
Oh, it’s ever so sad. Why can’t life go the way I want it to just once??
For instance, the other day, I was in bed with three Foxy ladies, and it turned out that just when I saw the clock, it turned to 5:29, and I don’t have to tell YOU what that means!
Oh, why is the world so sad?
It all hates me!!
So very sad.
I think I’ll cry about how sad it is.
And now write a haiku about it:

I am a sad, little boy
I cry and cry and am very sad
I wish I had a good toy

Plus, guess what happened the other day? I ran into Bill Clinton and got him to change the country. You can find my entire interview here [link not responding]!

June 29, 1997, 11:00 PM

Oh, Gosh! You won’t believe what just happened!!!!!!!!! (plus several other unnecessary exclamation marks)! You know Todd, right? And Zack? Well, their step-father’s half-uncle twice removed on his mother’s side’s former roommate, Bill, who you recall hit on me during Kimberly’s birthday party where she did that thing with that rival school’s football second-stringers? Well, he just ran into a website that HE SAYS has a better brownie recepee (misspelled to show how excited I am whilst typing this) than I DO!!!
What a jerk-off! So I yelled at him and told him his mom sucks big ones. I hope this doesn’t effect my relationship with Todd, who is doing some weird things that I’m just not going to put up with anymore.

September 5, 2004, 3:05 AM

Sorry I haven’t written in so long, I had to go through puberty and then… well, things just went to hell. I’ll sum it up for you in one of the haiku’s that I’m going to print into a book that hopefully I can print six copies of (for only $360!!!) and distribute around here. Hopefully, word of mouth will spread, I’ll get a Pulitzer Prize, and then die the happiest man in the world with my poetry being required reading for grades 3 – 5 and 9 – 12.
My dad already read it and told me that he thought it was “sophisticated.” Oh, I just hope everyone loves it!

September 5, 2004, 3:09 AM

Has anyone ever heard that song that’s like “bomp, bomp, bomp, boom, boom, bomp, boom, bomp, bomp?” I have that stuck in my head.
Current Mood: Perplexed
Current Music: bomp, bom, bomp, boom, boom, bomp, boom, bomp, bomp

September 5, 2004, 3:16 PM

Sorry about being late with the e-mail. It turns out that I had my security settings set so that I couldn’t compose or reply to e-mails. Ha ha ha… Sigh

A Small Quiz:

Congratulations to, um, let’s say Miguel Rivera. Free issue for you. Yey.

1: Do you have a livejournal/online diary/eGroup?

2: Can you think of a funny pick up line that I haven’t heard (okay, read on the Internet)?

3: What’s your favorite food-related euphemism or innuendo?

The Ind e-Pen +++vol+1+++BT+36+++ Introduction ================ For a nice change of pace, I have decided to make this week’s e-mail as emo and livejournally as possible. I don’t know why, but I figure if people care about what I think (which is still debatable), then they’d care about what I feel… I think. Anyway, here…