.

A Pixelated Mind

Tagged

B’Day, Mate…

So how ’bout I’m in Sydney, Australia eating “Potato Gems.” In case you’ve never been particularly fond of potato products, these are just poorly made tator tots.

Yeah, life’s interesting.

Allow me to give you a point by point (using points and points) account of my life thus far:

  • Flight left at 3:10
  • Mother cried tears of anger and of disillusionment with her son
  • Singled out for baggage inspection
  • Arrive in Phoenix
  • Seal on new plane broken, likely to be delays
  • Hanging out at airport
  • 1 hour delay
  • 2 hour delay
  • 3 hour delay
  • “Folks, I apologize for the inconvenience, but Flight 32 has been canceled, if you’ll just go to the customer service center, an America West representative will assist you with your travels.”
  • Waiting in line
  • More waiting in line
  • Screw this, go back to terminal and explain problem to the lady
  • “Okay, you’re on Flight 35 now, which leaves out of gate 23B in five minutes. So if I were you, I’d run.”
  • RUN!!!
  • RUN!!!
  • Stop and pant
  • RUN!!!
  • Arrive
  • Wait more
  • Get on plane
  • Sit next to child with an insane fixation on video games
  • Plane is grounded, as there is a 40 plane queue till takeoff
  • Plane goes to get refueled
  • Am worried
  • Plane finally takes off
  • Make uncomfortable small talk with 14-year-old who plays video games way too much
  • Arrive in LAX
  • RUN!!!
  • RUN!!!
  • Where am I running?
  • Ask person in uniform
  • Crappy directions, ask another
  • “*Charlie Brown’s teacher sounds* Can you run?”
  • “Yes.”
  • “Well then, “RUN!!!”
  • !!!
  • RUN!!!
  • RUN!!!
  • Boots cutting into ankles, ouch
  • RUN!!!
  • Find QANTAS counter, ask lady
  • “Oh, you need to go to gate 4, which is hella miles away. You should run.”
  • RUN!!!
  • RUN!!!
  • “Son, where are you going?”
  • “Sydney, Australia”
  • “Move it along then.”
  • Find other QANTAS counter, ask lady
  • “Your flight left. I’m going to put you on in the 108, you’ll arrive at 7:25.”
  • RUN!–
  • “Back through the metal detector”
  • Waiting.
  • Waiting..
  • Waiting…
  • “Okay, you’re clear to go.”
  • RUN!!!
  • RUN!!!
  • RUN!!!
  • Arrive at gate 48B
  • They’re boarding me, how lucky
  • Jack Black arrives, how lucky
  • “Stay Here.”
  • Jack Black and friend cuts in line directly in front of me
  • Anger
  • Check Jack Black’s ticket to make sure it’s really him
  • ‘BLACK, THOMAS JAC’
  • Find seat, almost miss it, I’m at the back of the plane, any further and I’d be in the bathroom
  • Am in the middle of seven seats with no clear view other than the Asian man to my left and the Idaho lady to my right
  • No area to store luggage in sight
  • Cry silently
  • Smell like the labia of a maggot on a dead hobo’s rectum
  • New socks!
  • Don’t fit
  • Dinner!
  • “Did you order a vegetarian dinner?”
  • “…”
  • “I’m sorry, then.”
  • Bread at least.
  • Arrive at Sydney
  • !
  • !!
  • !!!
  • Last to leave
  • Last in line
  • It’s a long line
  • Wait in line
  • Wait some more
  • Make it through
  • Wait in another line
  • Waiting more
  • Make it through
  • Luggage isn’t coming
  • Exchange currency at a 2% loss
  • Wait in line to complain about luggage being lost
  • Wait in line some more
  • Make it there
  • Realize I have no address or phone number
  • Cry that I have to go back to the Customs checkpoint
  • They let me through
  • Can’t find Airport Pickup 🙁
  • Call contact with new moneys
  • “Have you been to the Meeting Point yet?”
  • “No.”
  • “They’re there. Go there.”
  • Go there.
  • Yey…

Perhaps some more later, when I get to discuss how my new roommates are two foxy ladies.

Related posts:

  1. Ind e-Pen XI The Ind e-Pen +++vol+1++BT+11+++ Introduction: =============== This is Gabe the Beaver filling in for whoever sends these silly e-mails out regularly. I wish I could tell you, seeing as he IS my direct boss, but...
  2. Here I come home again To all the people I said I’d e-mail as soon as I got back: I’m working on it. Give me some time. This is easier than individual e-mails. Don’t worry all, I am safely in...
  3. WTF mate? Hey, does anyone wish to submit and/or host the next WTF Carnival? To make this take off we need your help. 🙂 That is purely to supplement my own lack of involvement due to my...

Powered by YARPP.

So how ’bout I’m in Sydney, Australia eating “Potato Gems.” In case you’ve never been particularly fond of potato products, these are just poorly made tator tots. Yeah, life’s interesting. Allow me to give you a point by point (using points and points) account of my life thus far: Flight left at 3:10 Mother cried…

Comments

  1. At least you made it. Now go ty some vegemite and explore the city.

    Also, beware that they don’t have lemonade there. Maybe it’s changed since I went, but every time I asked for lemonade at a restaurant, I was delivered Sprite.

    If you happen to go to Darling Harbour, look inside the Harbourside Mall (if it’s still there) for a restaurant (if it’s still there) called something like the Barbeque B&G. They have (had) very very good pancakes.

    Eh, now I’m being nostalgic. Two years ago at this time I was in Australia…up in Cairns, though, in the tropics.

    Okay, time to go eat breakfast.