Christmas Cracker Jokes

Q: Why is it so cold at Christmas?
A: Because it’s in Decemberrrrrrrrrrr!!!

Q: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
A: So he can ho-ho-ho.

Q: Mam, can i have a dog for Christmas?
A: No, you can have a turkey like everyone else.

Q:Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?
A: He had low elf esteem.

Why do elephants have trunks?
Because they’d look stupid with suitcases, wouldn’t they?

Waiter! Will my beefburger be long?
I expect it’ll be round, sir.

What do you call a gorilla with a machine-gun?

What’s the difference between a pillarbox and an elephant’s ear?
Don’t know.
Well I’ll never send you to post a letter …

How do you get down from an elephant?
You don’t, you get it from a duck.

Q: Why do Octopuses never get mugged?
A: Because the are always well armed.

Q: Has anyone ever caught the abominable snowman?
A: Not Yeti.

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