Month: November 2007

“Doctor Doctor Master Albright, my name is—” “Please, please, my friends call me Doctor Master Albright.” Albright interrupted. “Doctor Master—” “It’s actually Doctor Doctor Master.” “But you just said—” “I was making conversation. I was trying to be friendly, but, just so you’re sure, you’re not my friend.” Albright patiently explained, as if talking to…

It makes me sad that the Daily Show and the Colbert Report are on hiatus until the end of the writer’s strike. I mean, I like writers and I understand their anger against the studios, but damn… why punish Pixel? Why?? WHY??? Anyway, to entertain myself I started going back through the archives of the…

While applying to graduate school, there’s a lot of stuff to not be thankful for: ((Originally this sentence ended here. ‘There’s a lot to not be thankful for, but I won’t get into it.” Then I thought, “Nah, you could list it!” So I did. Sorry, but someone has to hear this other than my…

A conversation I had with my friend Frank. 1: I know what you can do to fix your computer. 2: What? 1: Just get a new motherboard! 2: What? That’s like $800! 1: Yeah, isn’t that a great idea? 2: No! No, I don’t have $800! 1: I even figured out where you could get…

Albright was even giving his toddler-clone an in-depth education. His lessons were progressing nicely: he was nearing Algebra now. “I’m going to skip over dividing by percentages and go right on into factorials. Can you say factorials?” Albright asked. “’Torios!” Traynor exclaimed, laughing as his hair did a little wave, which tickled and made him…

“Listen,” he began in a wooden, rehearsed-sounding tone, “I sympathize with you, I do. My maternal grandmother was 1/16th Arab and she tried to jihad a dozen times before she finally just settled down and married my paternal grandfather. But this is the wrong place to do it. First of all, this is an Islamic…