Why I’m an asshole

My whole Blog 365 strategy of writing posts ahead of time has made me be consistently one day late on all the blogosphere happenings. No worries. I’ll just add it to my list.

A meme gakked from The Collective:

1. I hate tipping. It bothers me that it’s expected. In general, I just avoid restaurants because I can’t support an establishment that would underpay its workers so much that they have to rely on the charity of their customers to survive. It just seems so third world to me.
2. I practice kickboxing with sixth graders. And I always win. Always.
3. I don’t respect your opinion. Unless it’s an opinion based on facts or explains phenomena better than the alternative, I don’t think what you think is worthy of my consideration just because you think it. This makes it hard for me to argue politics or religion, because I really don’t care what you think. I try to hide it, however, by using the Socratic method to get you to realize your folly.
4. My ethical theory is based on a concept called objective humor. In other words, in any situation, I do whatever action will maximize the humor for the most people. I made my friend cry once when I told her I’d push her off a bridge if it were funny at the time. I never apologized, not because I didn’t want to, but because it was funnier not to.
5. I always vote for a third party. Always. Even if I don’t agree with them, I still vote for them, just because I hate only having two options. Also, if you’re a judge up for reelection to keep your job… don’t count on my support. I hate it when anybody is reelected, much less when they have no opposition.
6. I can’t count to five. Or multiply by five if this post is any indication.
7. I refuse to just participate in anything. I always have to add my own twist to any meme. It’s annoying, because I make fun of high school students that do the same thing with other popular things.

I’m probably not as much of an asshole as, say, Ashley, but I’m still not a nice guy generally.

My whole Blog 365 strategy of writing posts ahead of time has made me be consistently one day late on all the blogosphere happenings. No worries. I’ll just add it to my list. A meme gakked from The Collective: I hate tipping. It bothers me that it’s expected. In general, I just avoid restaurants because…