The Legend of Sordon Gpurgeon (part 2 of 4)

Sordon Gpurgeon was an interesting kid. I have vague recollections of him from as early as sixth grade, and am reasonably sure he was in one of my seventh grade classes, but I always knew who he was nonetheless. Gordon was a legend in our school. To illustrate, let me give you my friend Frank’s take on Gordon. He’s told me this story numerous times, so I’m not sure if it’s true or simply part of the legend. Quoth the Frank:

I was in my science class in seventh grade, when Gordon got mad at the teacher and got up, grabbed the nearest desk, and threw it at the teacher…. the only problem is that there was a student still sitting in it.

The reason I’m not sure if this really took place is that I’ve heard the same story attributed to him in high school. Only in that version, he was in the principal’s office telling it to someone else. In fact, when I asked Frank about it today, he admitted that he couldn’t remember exactly what went on, but he was sure it involved a desk of some sort. I’m thinking of calling mythbusters.

Gordon was expelled from our middle school. We think. One day, he just vanished and everybody just knew. He didn’t reappear in our lives until freshman year of high school. And, coincidentally, he appeared in my third period Drama class. In fact, that’s where tomorrow’s story begins. For now, let’s suffice it to say that we became good friends.

Our friendship came about because I have a high tolerance for pain and Gordon was smart and funny. ((You’d be surprised how far I’d go to get laugh.)) We would eat lunch with some friends in the Drama room almost every day. So, we would hang out. Sometimes we’d get together after school or on the weekends.

Gordon was part of an organization called Amtgard, which is basically a way for grown men to get together and smack each other with foam-covered PVC pipes. ((Seriously)) It was the perfect expression of Gordon’s inner rage, but apparently even that wasn’t enough. Gordon would punch lockers in an attempt to strengthen his knuckles. I can’t count the number of times I saw him dent lockers and end up with bloodied knuckles, but I guarantee the lockers were worse off.

For better or worse, my parents have eventually liked all of my friends. The only exception is Gordon. They thought he was rude and had poor personal hygiene. ((Ouch.)) Furthermore, when I got suspended for wearing a trench coat to school the day after Columbine, they blamed Gordon’s influence rather than my own idiocy. ((I thought it was macabre and funny at the time, now I realize that there was no punchline.))

Essentially, Gordon was universally reviled by those that didn’t know him. They thought that he was rude, violent, and headed nowhere. Those of us who knew him, however, realized that there was definitely more than met the eye. He was insanely smart, hilarious, and had genuine insight that escaped most people. Furthermore, he truly didn’t care what other people thought of him. So I admired and respected him. We would still be friends today if not for… the incident.

To be continued tomorrow.

Sordon Gpurgeon was an interesting kid. I have vague recollections of him from as early as sixth grade, and am reasonably sure he was in one of my seventh grade classes, but I always knew who he was nonetheless. Gordon was a legend in our school. To illustrate, let me give you my friend Frank’s…