Actual conversation:
Pixel: Okay, let’s list the pros and cons of Heroin. I’m for it. PRO: New circle of friends.
Yoshi: But you get AIDS.
Pixel: Good point… okay, PRO: Learn valuable skills in using hypodermic needles.
Yoshi: CON: You lose all of your teeth.
Pixel: I think that’s meth.
Yoshi: Okay, CON: You lose all of your former friends.
Pixel: That’s good, that’s good. Okay, PRO: It feels really good.
Yoshi: CON: You use it too much and it doesn’t feel so good anymore.
Pixel: PRO: Yeah, but it feels really, really good.
Yoshi: CON: So does sex.
Pixel: PRO: Sex with heroin would be even better still.
Yoshi: CON: You won’t be able to get a girlfriend if you’re on heroin.
Pixel: PRO: You don’t need one, there’s plenty of heroin-using attractive women.
Yoshi: CON: That are all gangly and disgusting.
Pixel: PRO: So are you.
Yoshi: CON: But they have AIDS.
Pixel: PRO: Needle exchanges lessen fear of HerpeAIDS.
Yoshi: CON: You get arrested.
Pixel: PRO: Free housing.
Yoshi: CON: You die.
Pixel: PRO: You really live.
Yoshi: CON: Track marks.
Pixel: PRO: “Euphoria Trails.”
Yoshi: CON: Sell all of your possessions.
Pixel: PRO: Ask anyone who has both done and not done heroin, they’ll tell you that it was worth it.
Yoshi: Actually, no they won’t they’ll tell you it ruined their lives and they are better off without it.
Pixel: Good point. So I guess we agree: both sides are equal. We should teach the controversy and let people decide.
Yoshi: Okay, Mike Huckabee.
Pixel: I mean, if you’re not into Heroin, that’s your addiction. If you are, then that’s your addiction too. Both are equal.
Yoshi: You need a job, bad.
